A beautiful thing

I just returned from a week in California, visiting my sister and her 14 week old twins. It was so fun to see how much the boys have grown in the few months since I last saw them, and to watch how their little personalities have emerged. Tate is a such a little flirt with a twinkle in his eye and a mischevious grin, and Liam is a fun-loving, sweet little guy with a goofy, infectious laugh.

As much fun as the twins are, it was just as amazing to observe how my little sister has grown into herself in a new way. Anyone who knows Becky knows that she is incredibly natural with kids. She relates to them differently than most adults and they love her for it. With her own children, however, this natural ability has deepened and grown into something beautiful. She glows when she is with her babies, and they gaze at her with adoration and trust. It was lovely and touching and endearing to watch her go through the motions of caring for two newborns, and realize that, with every bottle fed, every bath given, the mother-child bond grew a little bit stronger, a little bit tighter. Motherhood truly is a beautiful thing.

On the long drive home, with my little one sleeping contentedly in the backseat, I reflected on how being a mother changes a person, on how it has changed me. The experience of growing my child was a difficult one, but was also miraculous and so full of joy. When I think of the many days I fought debilitating nausea to stay upright and functioning, I have to also remember how I felt when I recognized the sensation of her little foot drawing an arc across my belly. I think about how she would push her head against my diaphram when she stretched and recognize the same gesture even today, when she has grown so much. I remember the first time she looked right at me, and the first time I KNEW she KNEW who I was.

Even now, many months later, I am still changing and growing from the experience of being her mother. I am more patient and more willing to sit and wait and let her explore the exciting world of cracks in the sidewalk and tiny insects on plant leaves. My priorities have shifted to include bath-times and family nights and bedtime stories and prayers. My world has become slower and smaller, my days orbiting around an almost two-year old, who has my smile and hands and her dad’s red hair and silly laugh. I work harder and take better care of myself because I want her to be proud to have me as her mother. I try to be a good example for her, to teach her by my actions about honesty and kindness and open-mindedness. I remind myself to be open to new experiences and new people, because I want her to do the same.

I don’t know that these changes would have occurred without the experience of motherhood. In trying to teach her right from wrong and the ABCs and compassion and how to tie her shoes, she has taught me to be kind, and patient and how to approach life and love with an open and ready heart. Being a mother has opened up my world like nothing else could have. I’m so grateful to have the experience of raising her and helping her grow into the person she will be. And I’m grateful to be able to watch my sister have these opportunities to grow more fully into her own, to embrace this part of her wholeheartedly. I am so glad I took the time to witness all of this firsthand.