Lately, it feels like i am doing everything in pieces. Always running around trying to do a million things at once but never really accomplishing anything. Checking email while I talk on the phone, reading journal articles for work while I sit on the bathroom floor, watching Riley play in the tub. I eat dinner while I am folding laundry. Writing is done throughout the day, during naps or late at night, sometimes in the middle of the night. Phone calls are fragmented, often ended with a hurried "I gotta run, Riley is ...". Even sleeping is broken into slices, going back and forth between Riley's room and mine, to soothe, to comfort, to calm. I work out over the course of the day...abs in the morning while Riley plays by me, gym right after work or late at night, pushups in the office when I need a break. Watch a movie from start to finish....can't remember the last time I did that. Read a book for an uninterrupted hour....yeah, right.
I know that a lot of this is due to circumstances being what they are: I have an 8 month old daughter, I am a single parent, I work at a very demanding job, I am trying to accomplish some huge personal goals. But still, for a type A, goal oriented person like me, this type of life is very hard. I like to see projects completed. I like to cross things off my lists.
So, I am trying to remind myself that these little snips of action are what life is actually made up of. Remember that as long as the pieces add up to something beautiful, that's all the matter. recall that the small snippets of joy and moments of laughter and fragments of peace are a whole lot greater than the sum of their parts, even with some slices of problems that are thrown in for good measure.
I can't really complain, though, because even though this isn't how I would choose to operate in an ideal world, these fragments of life, these pieces and parts of my existence, all strung together, are adding up to something pretty wonderful.
