First Mother's Day

Since my first mother's day was spent driving back from San Diego, today was my first chance to post on my first mother's day. First, I thought I'd post a picture of Riley's gift to me, but it hasn't actually arrived yet, so I'll just describe it. Riley got me a small point and shoot camera to complement my Cannon EOS. It's pink. I love my Cannon but it's hard to keep in my pocket for those fun moments that pop up, so my beautiful daughter got me the perfect solution. She's a genius. It's evident at eight months old.

What I can post for you, though, is a picture of my mother's day present to myself. I have been a fan of superhero jewelry for some time now, and I own a few of the superhero necklaces. I saw the superhero pendant about a month ago and knew I had to get it for myself for mother's day.



On the back of the pendant, it simply is engraved with the word "superhero".

I was drawn to the simple aesthetics of this necklace, but more than that, I wanted a symbol of what I hope to achieve as a mother. I want to be a superhero for my daughter. I want to be somebody she can look up to, admire, count on to help her out of tough situations and be there to catch her when she falls. I know I'm human, but I want her to believe I can leap tall buildings with a single bound, and know that even if it wasn't possible, I'd give it my best shot for her. I want her to have an example of someone that is honest, kind, compassionate, generous, creative, thoughtful, intelligent and brave and I want that example to be from me, as well as the many other wonderful people in her life. I know I am not perfect (far from it) but I am trying to live my life and make the kind of choices that bring me closer to "superhero" status for my bug. She deserves that and more. This necklace serves as a reminder of that goal.

I have a ways to go before I reach true superhero status as a mom, but I'm trying, and that is what counts. To steal a slogan from the army, being a mother is "the toughest job you'll ever love" and each day presents new challenges and new opportunities for growth. I'm so incredibly grateful for my chance to be Riley's mom and for all the blessings that have come with that honor. I'm even grateful for the tough times and struggles that have happened since Riley's arrival, because I am stronger and smarter because of them, and the strength and intelligence I've gained add more to my superhero power. I'm happier and more at peace with myself and my life, as well, and that adds double superhero power.

Finally, I'm very grateful for all the mom's that I have to look to for examples of how to reach superhero status. I am sure I would miss someone if I tried to name names, but I want to give props to all the women who are really amazing women and really great moms and fabulous examples to me. You have made my first eight months on this road a little easier just by being there and being you.

Happy Mother's Day!

Totally worth the entire trip to San Diego

This sticker was found on a window at a home on Mission Blvd.






I had to get a picture because, whenever I hear "Who's the man?" I usually think to myself...."Who is the man?" and I usually answer to myself "Jesus".

And usually there is an American flag that waves proudly over these thoughts.

And a flag from Brazil waving below them.

Pieces and parts

Lately, it feels like i am doing everything in pieces. Always running around trying to do a million things at once but never really accomplishing anything. Checking email while I talk on the phone, reading journal articles for work while I sit on the bathroom floor, watching Riley play in the tub. I eat dinner while I am folding laundry. Writing is done throughout the day, during naps or late at night, sometimes in the middle of the night. Phone calls are fragmented, often ended with a hurried "I gotta run, Riley is ...". Even sleeping is broken into slices, going back and forth between Riley's room and mine, to soothe, to comfort, to calm. I work out over the course of the day...abs in the morning while Riley plays by me, gym right after work or late at night, pushups in the office when I need a break. Watch a movie from start to finish....can't remember the last time I did that. Read a book for an uninterrupted hour....yeah, right.

I know that a lot of this is due to circumstances being what they are: I have an 8 month old daughter, I am a single parent, I work at a very demanding job, I am trying to accomplish some huge personal goals. But still, for a type A, goal oriented person like me, this type of life is very hard. I like to see projects completed. I like to cross things off my lists.

So, I am trying to remind myself that these little snips of action are what life is actually made up of. Remember that as long as the pieces add up to something beautiful, that's all the matter. recall that the small snippets of joy and moments of laughter and fragments of peace are a whole lot greater than the sum of their parts, even with some slices of problems that are thrown in for good measure.

I can't really complain, though, because even though this isn't how I would choose to operate in an ideal world, these fragments of life, these pieces and parts of my existence, all strung together, are adding up to something pretty wonderful.

Gratitude Friday

I'm all about finding joy in the little things, and today's list is composed of a lot of little things that are making my life pretty great. Grateful today for:

1. A great weekend! I saw a lot of friends and family, and instead of feeling tired from yet another weekend full of work and obligations, I feel renewed from spending time with loved ones. My oldest girlfriends provided some much-needed humor and hilarity and my cousins and their families are so much fun to be around. Riley and I both had a good time.
2. My little girl's crazy new face: She scrunches up her nose and bounces up and down. So cute.
3. 80 minute massages. Enough said.
4. My new workout playlist. I've been singing the songs from it all day. Even the dumb Miley Cyrus song that I downloaded from I-tunes makes me smile (and yes, I am aware that some day it will make me vomit.)
5. Voice messages left by Hallee Jo. I have a message she left me a few days ago saved and have listened to her cute little voice at least 17 times since I saved it. What a doll!
6. Yummy new recipe for Tabouli. So good...definitely joining my list of healthy food obsessions. I'm making another batch tonight.
7. Apple I-mac computers. My new one is one it's way and I can't wait!
8. A good friend of mine is very likely buying ski condo/cabin close to here. It will be nice to see him on a more regular basis with less effort on either of our parts.
9. Looking forward to a week on the Sunny San Diego beach with my little girl. I SO need a break.
10. Speaking of vacations, I have decided the locale of my overseas vacation for next year. Greece. Any suggestions, comments, advice are welcome!

On my mind today

Another poem by Mary Oliver that has been jumbling around in my head today....

Praying

It doesn't have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don't try
to make them elaborate, this isn't
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.

~ Mary Oliver ~

Gratitude Friday

Wow. What a crazy week! Between a trip across the country, a broken dryer, an almost flooded condo and visiting family, I am exhausted. But not too tired to write about the things I am grateful for this week:

1. Trip to Florida: I went to Florida for four days this past week and it was a good trip. This was the first national work conference I have attended since having Riley and it was good to be back in the swing of things. I had a couple of presentations that went well, I had a chance to meet some people who are very involved in the same things I am doing from different parts of the nation, and I attended some scientific sessions and workshops that reminded me again why I do what I do professionally. It was very mentally stimulating and gave me some good ideas to work towards. The weather was rainy most of the time, then very hot on the last day. I had a chance to do some "girl-bonding" with some of my coworkers and spend an evening with a friend from DC. Also, there was a lovely surprise in my room on arrival. Thanks, NR, very sweet. All in all, a good trip.

2. My sister, my mom and my sister in law. THANK YOU for everything you guys do for me and for Riley. We love you!

3. I have great neighbors who really helped me out while I was in Florida, helping arrange for a plumber to save my condo from flooding. Thanks, Beckie, Madi, Laurie. You guys rock!

4. There are several exciting things coming up on the job front. I'll keep you all in the loop as things happen and plans are made. I am so grateful for a job, experience and education that allow me to do work that REALLY MATTERS!

5. My cousin, Megan, had her baby last week. I haven't met her in person yet, but the pics of her are SO DANG CUTE!!! You can take a look at them here. I love Megan and Alec and I can't wait to meet Paige. So happy for them!

6. Finally, I am grateful that today is Friday and I have a whole weekend ahead of me to spend with my daughter. She seems to be growing up so fast and she is so much fun right now. I am excited to have a couple days to spend with her with no other obligations.

I know I always say this, but I have SO much to be grateful for. Life is really crazy right now, and it is hard being a single mom, but writing about a few of the blessings in my life on Fridays really does help me keep things in perspective. Sure, I have my challenges...we all do. But look at all the amazing things I have in my life. It's hard to complain much when I take a minute and just LOOK at the great people I know and positive experiences I am able to take part in. I truly am very, very blessed.

For NR

Well, you asked for a self portrait...