Reset

Lately, I've had an irrepressible need to make everything feel cleaner and lighter.  I've been purging all sorts of stuff from around the house and spending time organizing and deleting documents and photos on my computer. I've opened windows to coax the spring air inside and moved heavy winter coats and clothing into storage.  I've brought in more plants to help the air quality in my home, and more flowers to help my mind focus on the coming spring season. 

With all this emphasis on "Clean" and "Light" in my home, I've been forced to take a hard look at the way I'm treating my body, the flesh and bone house that keeps my brain and soul and heart in one physical place. 

Guys....It's not pretty.  

I'm usually pretty good and living a healthy, clean lifestyle, but Holy Wow!  I could do with a little spring cleaning of my own. The past few months have not been easy in so many ways, and the fallout has been in the ways I care for myself.  I've not been eating well; not exercising nearly as much as I require.  I've been going to bed very late then getting up very early.  My days are fueled with caffeine and chemicals (Diet soda, guys.  Nothing more interesting than that, but honestly, that's bad enough.) My stress level is climbing.  I'm both exhausted and wired at all times. 

It's time to hit the reset button. 

I believe in moderation in all things.  I have tried hard core cleanses and crazy intense workouts, and while I love the idea of that kind of dedication and intensity, I know myself and my current lifestyle won't support it. 

So what will my life currently support?  What does "Clean and Light: 2014" look like?  Here's what I'm thinking for now:

• Open windows
• Lots of water (a ridiculous amount lately - I think I've been seriously dehydrated.)
• Plenty of greens and my favorite "whole foods knockoff superfood salad" 
• Fruit, especially citrus
• Sleep.  As much as I can get in. 
• Walking.  Again, as much as I can. 
• Weight training and strength work and lots and lots and lots of yoga.  
• Stronger boundaries- helps limit the drama that feels so heave to me (there's another blog post on this topic soon.) 
• Limit the bad sh*t (I mean that mentally, physically, socially, emotionally, spiritually, etc.  I'm getting rid of as much bad sh*t as I can.) 

It's not rocket science, but this is what works for me.  I'm sure that there will be slip-ups and let downs and days when I'm too tired to do anything but the basics and takeout is inevitable.  But it's a process, a work in progress, and will never be perfect. And that's ok.

Something happens.

Something happens when you stop believing there is something inherently wrong with you,  something for which you owe an apology, and instead choose to love your perfectly imperfect self for exactly who you are.  Right now.  Today. 

Something happens when you stop holding your tongue, stop stifling your laughter, stop shushing the songs that play in your heart,  and instead lean into the knowledge that you came to live out loud.

Something happens when you stop making excuses, stop putting your needs to the side and start taking care of you.  You.  You.  You.  Because you are worth it right now.  Today.  

Something happens when you learn to accept the unknown, when you learn to relax into the uncomfortable and when you learn to stay loose and wait for the next curve ball.

Something happens when you stop thinking in terms of "us" or "them," as "wrong" or "right,' as "friends" or "strangers" and start embracing the whole of humanity- the entire messy, delightful, complex and glorious bunch. 

Something happens when you forget to be afraid of the dark, and instead grab a flashlight and follow your curiosity out into the night.

Something happens when you realize that there is nothing wrong with doubt, with questions, with honest investigation, and you start to do the work to unravel the threads that tangle up your mind. 

 Something happens when you stop saying "no" and start saying "Oh, Hells Yes!"

Something happens when realize you are stronger than your disappointments and fears, and you drop them on the sidewalk and simply walk on by.  


What happens is acceptance.
What happens is joy.
What happens is health. 
What happens is wisdom.
What happens is play. 
What happens is rest.
What happens is adventure.
What happens is peace.
What happens is faith.

What happens is love.

Going to Ground

It's rare for me to get sick, rarer still for me to take time off work to recuperate.
I tend to soldier through until I emerge on the other side.
It's rare for me to spend not just one day, but f-o-u-r, in bed asleep.
I tend to, at the very least, try to keep up with my email or catch up on reading.
It's rare for me to spend the evenings curled up on the couch with Riley, watching movies.
I tend to make sure we stay busy and active.
It's rare for me to not feel guilty about all this rest and downtime.
I tend to berate myself for leisure when I feel like I should be working.

I've spent most of the week at home, recuperating from an unexpected sinus infection (I mean -- seriously, people--it's AUGUST!) and sleeping off the effects of the illness and the antibiotics. Although I'm over the worst of it, I'm still tired and I do hope to regain some of my usual energy soon.

I'm grateful that I had the chance to go to ground this past week, to recover and to restore. I'm grateful that I'm learning that, although hard to do, sometimes I need to care for myself first.