Something happens.

Something happens when you stop believing there is something inherently wrong with you,  something for which you owe an apology, and instead choose to love your perfectly imperfect self for exactly who you are.  Right now.  Today. 

Something happens when you stop holding your tongue, stop stifling your laughter, stop shushing the songs that play in your heart,  and instead lean into the knowledge that you came to live out loud.

Something happens when you stop making excuses, stop putting your needs to the side and start taking care of you.  You.  You.  You.  Because you are worth it right now.  Today.  

Something happens when you learn to accept the unknown, when you learn to relax into the uncomfortable and when you learn to stay loose and wait for the next curve ball.

Something happens when you stop thinking in terms of "us" or "them," as "wrong" or "right,' as "friends" or "strangers" and start embracing the whole of humanity- the entire messy, delightful, complex and glorious bunch. 

Something happens when you forget to be afraid of the dark, and instead grab a flashlight and follow your curiosity out into the night.

Something happens when you realize that there is nothing wrong with doubt, with questions, with honest investigation, and you start to do the work to unravel the threads that tangle up your mind. 

 Something happens when you stop saying "no" and start saying "Oh, Hells Yes!"

Something happens when realize you are stronger than your disappointments and fears, and you drop them on the sidewalk and simply walk on by.  


What happens is acceptance.
What happens is joy.
What happens is health. 
What happens is wisdom.
What happens is play. 
What happens is rest.
What happens is adventure.
What happens is peace.
What happens is faith.

What happens is love.

No Spend Month: Week 2, plus Mother's Day Weekend and some other stuff

**I am two weeks into the "no-spend month" and still- so far, so good.  We spent Mother's Day weekend in Denver with some dear friends, but we stuck to our pre-set budget (actually, we were significantly under it)  there were no major purchases, and Riley didn't even ask for 'something special' from our trip.  The latter was a big deal, as the Girl really LOVES to buy 'souvies' (as she calls them) when we travel.   I've noticed myself slipping into the online browsing habit a couple of times, but each time I've quickly caught myself and changed course.  The challenge seems to be doing it's job- at least in that respect.

**Mother's day was lovely.  As I mentioned before, we were in Denver with friends, and celebrating it with them was a great way to go, complete with cute crafts, yummy food, perfect weather and Riley lip-synching a mother's day song in church.  Classic Riley. 

Yep, we sorta resemble each other. 

I sure do love this Girl and am so grateful I have the opportunity to be her Mom.  

**While in Denver, I ran this 5K with my friend and her 9 year old daughter, plus about 2000 more women and girls (and some guys, although I think it was supposed to be a women's only event.)   I was paired up with a little girl who didn't have an adult running with her, and we made a game of picking a pair of runners and trying to stay ahead of them.  It was silly, but it kept her running most of the time, and I'm happy to report we won our race with the 'lady in the blue hat' and her daughter.  Being in this event reminded me how much I like running (despite the weird knee issue I'm having right now) and how much I enjoy the energy and motivation that comes from training for and participating in races.  I'm on the lookout for a few fun, casual, local events to run this summer.

**The friends that we visited have been working hard lately to make positive, healthy changes to their lifestyles, and I gotta say - it's really awesome!  They all look great, but on top of that, you can tell that their family as a whole has embraced the concept of healthy living as a family value.  I came home feeling inspired to take a closer look at how I'm doing healthy living-wise, both personally and for my little family.  While it's not all bad, I will say this:  There is room for improvement.

So that's where we are today- still on track with 'no spend month,' still working on living a healthy lifestyle, still loving on this crazy little girl who calls me 'Mama.' 

A Gratitude List

It's been a hell of a week.

Not a bad week, just a crazy-busy one, crammed with obligations and committments.

I also had to make a quick trip to Denver for work meetings, adding substantially to the chaos.

It is weeks like these that remind me to be grateful for the many good things I have going on, because without them, I'd get bogged down in the minutiae of a complicated, busy life. And so...a gratitude list.

Right now, I am grateful for:

**an evening spent snuggled up with my kiddo, reading books and making up silly stories.

**board meetings with myself on my rooftop deck.
**a fulfilling, mind stimulating, challenging career.

**an amazing support network.

**knowing my girl was well cared for and loved while I was out of town. (This is so critical for me to be able to do my job to the best of my abilities.)

**seeing the payoffs of all the work and time I spent streamlining both my time and possessions. It's so nice not to be owned by stuff.

**parenting a creative little soul - check out her 'mermaid tail' (both feet stuffed in one of my fins and legs wrapped in a bath towel). She keeps things so entertaining around here.
**a long, hot bath after a day of airport delays.

**running the trails around my home (have I mentioned how much I love trail running?) These are some iPhone photos I took on a recent run.

(is there any question about why I love trail running so much?)

**new friends and new projects.

**2.5 hour phone conversations with my Dad. That man just. gets. me.

**recognizing that it's time to come back to center and get back to the basics.

Today, I am:

Sunrise from my living room, Dec. 15, 2010

*Grateful for the good friends who just get me, who don't need the details or the backstory. The ones close by and the ones far away. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
*Relaxed from an hour of yoga, a run/spin workout, and a massage. Oh yeah...my kind of day.
*Wrapping, packaging and making a 'last minute' list - trying to get Christmas off the ground.
*Enjoying the warmth and quiet my new windows provide.
*Relieved to be able to add running back into the workout rotation (only 20 minutes, 3 days a week for a while, but still...I can run again! Yay!)
*Reflecting on my 2010 word of the year (build).
*Thinking about my new year's intentions and my word for 2011.
*Honored to see this post being re-posted quite a bit. I think it's important and I'm glad to see it getting out there. Thanks to all who are posting links and re-tweeting. I'm getting fantastic feedback.

What has today been for you?