Today, I'm savoring the little things.
*The smell of coffee at work. I don't even drink it, but I love the smell.
*Dangly earrings.
*A couple of days to myself-to reflect, recharge and reconnect.
*New books piled up by my bed - looking forward to losing myself in their pages.
*Slipping into soft, silky, lavender-scented sheets.
*Gold shoes at work - a fun touch of 'bling' for an otherwise serious outfit.
*New red lipstick that I can totally pull off. Sexy AND classy- at least, that's what 'he' said.
*Chocolate cake for breakfast - starting the day off right.
*An awesome new playlist for the gym- courtesy of a sweet friend.
* Rediscovering old friends on Facebook - so fun to see faces from the past.
*Pulling on my favorite skinny jeans - and realizing they are too big!
* Seeing dear friends in the most random places.
* A note left in my car months ago- just discovered today.
* The many happy new years messages i received yesterday. I am saving them all in the permanent file.
* a new journal to start the new year - blank pages waiting to be filled up as the year unfolds itself.
* Anticipating watching the team I supported all season play in their Bowl game - it's so uplifting to watch others realize their dreams.
For these things, the little things that make life so sweet, I am grateful.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
2008: the highlights
As the year comes to a close, I am feeling a little bit torn.
One the one hand, I'm happy to have it behind me. It was a year of hard lessons, tough truths, and many nights that ended in exhaustion and tears. It seems like each of the 365 days contained it's own brand of teaching, and many of these lessons were planned in the school of hard knocks. Often, I felt knocked around, seemingly out of faith, cold, tired, and occasionally broken.
On the other hand, it was a wonderful, beautiful year - a year of joy, a year of self-discovery, a year crammed full of love and light . Often, after the day day delivered hard hitting, fist pounding lesson, it kissed away the hurt with small slices of pure love- my baby calling me "mama" and smiling her scrunched up, sunny grin, my wonderful friends who always know the right things to say, the steady and stalwart support of my family.
So I'll accept and acknowledge that 2008 brought both ends of the spectrum, the good and the bad, and I'll offer thanks for both. For the strength, confidence and wisdom that I gained by making my way through the hard times, and the love, light and laughter that adds sparkle to my days. For all of this, and more, I am thankful.
Still, when you reflect on a whole year, some things stick out as the high points, and this is certainly true for me when i reflect on 2008. I thought I'd share some of the best parts of my 2008.
*My divorce - I'm certainly not saying that getting divorced is something that is a highlight of my life, or anything I want to repeat, but I know that it was a good thing for me and very necessary in letting me make some important life changes. Having the legal proceedings finalized allowed me to take steps to move on, both physically, emotionally, and financially, and I will forever be grateful for the signatures on the papers that allowed me that freedom. This isn't to say that I regret being married, because nothing could be further from the truth. I learned a lot, loved a lot and treasure the good parts of my marriage. I walked away with the two greatest gifts I could have been given - a beautiful daughter and the peace of knowing that I did the best I could and had been guided to exactly the place I needed to be in. And now I am given the chance to learn about moving on, forgiveness, and handling difficult situations with grace and compassion. It was a hard blow to me at the time, and there are memories of it that still sting, but being divorced is definitely one of the best things to come out of 2008.
* Traveling to the Bay Area (several times) to see two of my favorite people in the world, a week at the beach in San Diego spent with my mom, sister and daughter, a week in the New Hampshire woods in pursuit of creativity and finding many kindred souls from all over (some as close as my own backyard), a few trips here and there for work...all of these trips healed pieces and parts of my soul and gave me a chance to rejuvenate and refresh. So very needed, each and every one.
*The time I've spent writing this year will forever be one of my highlights of 2008. Besides the promise of seeing my work in print, I am compiling a body of work that I can give to Riley, and hopefully one day she can read it and understand more fully who I am. I want her to know me, the me I am right now, the me that she won't remember but is helping to shape her into the person she will become. I want her to know that while I wasn't perfect, that I stumbled on this weird, twisty path of motherhood, that I love her completely and fully and that I cherish the chance I have to be her mom. 2008 is my first full year of Riley and I am so glad I took the time to write about it - both for her and for me.
* Another amazing thing that emerged in 2008 is the many new friendships i've found. When I take a minute and think of all the new people in my life that weren't there even a year ago, it almost makes me dizzy. I have been blessed with so many new friends- some who came from my creative pursuits, some who showed up through work and other obligations. Attending church more regularly has given me connections with those in my ward. Being back in the dating world has given me a chance to meet new people and through them, more new people. My circle of friends has widened drastically, and Lucky Me- I get to cherish my old friends and enjoy the new. What could be better?
Yes, 2008 was a year of ups and downs, of hard times and good times. But as the last few hours count down, I realize that I am very, very grateful for it.
For the hard times that taught me patience and persistence, for the good times that reminded me to laugh and enjoy. For the family who stands behind me no matter what, for the friends who are always there, no questions asked. For first steps and first words, for first dates and first kisses. For the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. For letting go of the things that hold us back and filling up the well with love and and light and happiness. For faith, and grace, and hope and truth. For all of these things that 2008 brought, I am grateful.
One the one hand, I'm happy to have it behind me. It was a year of hard lessons, tough truths, and many nights that ended in exhaustion and tears. It seems like each of the 365 days contained it's own brand of teaching, and many of these lessons were planned in the school of hard knocks. Often, I felt knocked around, seemingly out of faith, cold, tired, and occasionally broken.
On the other hand, it was a wonderful, beautiful year - a year of joy, a year of self-discovery, a year crammed full of love and light . Often, after the day day delivered hard hitting, fist pounding lesson, it kissed away the hurt with small slices of pure love- my baby calling me "mama" and smiling her scrunched up, sunny grin, my wonderful friends who always know the right things to say, the steady and stalwart support of my family.
So I'll accept and acknowledge that 2008 brought both ends of the spectrum, the good and the bad, and I'll offer thanks for both. For the strength, confidence and wisdom that I gained by making my way through the hard times, and the love, light and laughter that adds sparkle to my days. For all of this, and more, I am thankful.
Still, when you reflect on a whole year, some things stick out as the high points, and this is certainly true for me when i reflect on 2008. I thought I'd share some of the best parts of my 2008.
*My divorce - I'm certainly not saying that getting divorced is something that is a highlight of my life, or anything I want to repeat, but I know that it was a good thing for me and very necessary in letting me make some important life changes. Having the legal proceedings finalized allowed me to take steps to move on, both physically, emotionally, and financially, and I will forever be grateful for the signatures on the papers that allowed me that freedom. This isn't to say that I regret being married, because nothing could be further from the truth. I learned a lot, loved a lot and treasure the good parts of my marriage. I walked away with the two greatest gifts I could have been given - a beautiful daughter and the peace of knowing that I did the best I could and had been guided to exactly the place I needed to be in. And now I am given the chance to learn about moving on, forgiveness, and handling difficult situations with grace and compassion. It was a hard blow to me at the time, and there are memories of it that still sting, but being divorced is definitely one of the best things to come out of 2008.
* Traveling to the Bay Area (several times) to see two of my favorite people in the world, a week at the beach in San Diego spent with my mom, sister and daughter, a week in the New Hampshire woods in pursuit of creativity and finding many kindred souls from all over (some as close as my own backyard), a few trips here and there for work...all of these trips healed pieces and parts of my soul and gave me a chance to rejuvenate and refresh. So very needed, each and every one.
*The time I've spent writing this year will forever be one of my highlights of 2008. Besides the promise of seeing my work in print, I am compiling a body of work that I can give to Riley, and hopefully one day she can read it and understand more fully who I am. I want her to know me, the me I am right now, the me that she won't remember but is helping to shape her into the person she will become. I want her to know that while I wasn't perfect, that I stumbled on this weird, twisty path of motherhood, that I love her completely and fully and that I cherish the chance I have to be her mom. 2008 is my first full year of Riley and I am so glad I took the time to write about it - both for her and for me.
* Another amazing thing that emerged in 2008 is the many new friendships i've found. When I take a minute and think of all the new people in my life that weren't there even a year ago, it almost makes me dizzy. I have been blessed with so many new friends- some who came from my creative pursuits, some who showed up through work and other obligations. Attending church more regularly has given me connections with those in my ward. Being back in the dating world has given me a chance to meet new people and through them, more new people. My circle of friends has widened drastically, and Lucky Me- I get to cherish my old friends and enjoy the new. What could be better?
Yes, 2008 was a year of ups and downs, of hard times and good times. But as the last few hours count down, I realize that I am very, very grateful for it.
For the hard times that taught me patience and persistence, for the good times that reminded me to laugh and enjoy. For the family who stands behind me no matter what, for the friends who are always there, no questions asked. For first steps and first words, for first dates and first kisses. For the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. For letting go of the things that hold us back and filling up the well with love and and light and happiness. For faith, and grace, and hope and truth. For all of these things that 2008 brought, I am grateful.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Gratitude Friday
So I started writing today's post last night, and the things that are one my mind, the things for which I am very grateful, are many and varied. As often happens with my writing, one thing triggered another, which triggered something else, and I ended up writing a piece on an event of some significance that is very appropriate for Gratitude Friday.
Here's the thing...It's not really something I want online at this point in time. I would, however, really love some feedback and thoughts on it, especially from my blog-readers. So, if you are interested in reading this and letting me know what you think, please leave a comment here (or email me directly) and i'll send you the piece via email.
And, no....i am not engaged or pregnant. Just so we clarify that right now.
Hope to hear from you soon!
Here's the thing...It's not really something I want online at this point in time. I would, however, really love some feedback and thoughts on it, especially from my blog-readers. So, if you are interested in reading this and letting me know what you think, please leave a comment here (or email me directly) and i'll send you the piece via email.
And, no....i am not engaged or pregnant. Just so we clarify that right now.
Hope to hear from you soon!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Friday, Friday, Friday
a barn somewhere
It's been a good week. I have had lots of positive experiences and have lots to be thankful for. A quick list:
1. My dryer is now working again. Not a huge problem in the grand scheme of things, but a hassle and an inconvenience I am happy not to have to deal with anymore.
2. I finally found the words...to say what I needed to say, so someone else could hear what they needed to hear. And now we both understand where the other is coming from.
3. My dad, who patiently listened to me go on and on and on, and then made me feel better by calling it "highly intelligent babble" rather than what it really was, which was "a whole lotta crazy"! Love you, Dad. You are truly one of the only people who completely gets me.
4. My daughter's middle of the night singing habit. Sometimes she is awake, sometimes she is asleep. Always, she is adorable.
5. lunch with the girls - cheaper and much more fun than therapy, and yet it accomplishes the same goals...keeps me sane!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Recipe for a perfect morning
Take:
6 FULL HOURS of uninterrupted sleep (hey, it's been over two years since I could claim this)
add:
1 super happy, super cuddly, super kissy baby
combine with:
Chocolate cake for breakfast (for me, cheerios for her)
plus:
an early morning text telling you that someone was thinking about you
equals:
The perfect way to start a day!
I love the above picture because it looks like I was offering thanks for a beautiful, wonderful, sweet child. Which, of course, I was.
And on another note, some of you have asked if I have a blog for Riley.
Yep.
You can find her at www.me-n-rileybug.blogspot.com
I'm biased, but I think she is the cutest thing on the internet. Here are a few sneak peeks at some of the pics posted there.
Man, oh man! I love this kid!
6 FULL HOURS of uninterrupted sleep (hey, it's been over two years since I could claim this)
add:
1 super happy, super cuddly, super kissy baby
combine with:
Chocolate cake for breakfast (for me, cheerios for her)
plus:
an early morning text telling you that someone was thinking about you
equals:
The perfect way to start a day!
I love the above picture because it looks like I was offering thanks for a beautiful, wonderful, sweet child. Which, of course, I was.
***********************************************************
And on another note, some of you have asked if I have a blog for Riley.
Yep.
You can find her at www.me-n-rileybug.blogspot.com
I'm biased, but I think she is the cutest thing on the internet. Here are a few sneak peeks at some of the pics posted there.
Man, oh man! I love this kid!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Because this needs to be put out into the Universe
***I am SO INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL that this week is not last week.***
Friday, December 5, 2008
Gratitude Friday
A quick list of some things I am grateful for today:
1. A community of old friends that are always there, no matter when, no matter what. Your ever-constant presence in my life steadies me and makes me feel safe.
2. A growing community of new friends that are adding spice and sparkle to my life. One of the best parts of change is the new people it brings into your life.
3. Finally letting go of some long held expectations that were holding me back from making some much-needed changes.
4. A special person who asked the right questions and said the right things. Her careful concern and quiet compassion brought light to a rather overcast day. Thanks, JGB.
5. Upcoming life that already is making me incredibly happy and hopeful...I am so looking forward to the arrival of Bamboo and my little Twiggers. I can't wait to meet my little half-brown nephews.
1. A community of old friends that are always there, no matter when, no matter what. Your ever-constant presence in my life steadies me and makes me feel safe.
2. A growing community of new friends that are adding spice and sparkle to my life. One of the best parts of change is the new people it brings into your life.
3. Finally letting go of some long held expectations that were holding me back from making some much-needed changes.
4. A special person who asked the right questions and said the right things. Her careful concern and quiet compassion brought light to a rather overcast day. Thanks, JGB.
5. Upcoming life that already is making me incredibly happy and hopeful...I am so looking forward to the arrival of Bamboo and my little Twiggers. I can't wait to meet my little half-brown nephews.
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