Jumping back in

Spring!  Spring! It's Spring!

I've been trying to figure out a graceful way to ease myself back into the blogging habit, after an unintentional, but rather long blog break.  I've debated whether I should just let this particular blog go, if I should start a completely new one, or whether I should just be done with the blog thing altogether.

Yet when it comes right down to it, I love this little corner of the blogosphere.   I love having a place to say what I want to say, to reach out and share what's going on in my heart and head, to publicly enjoy my daughter's antics, and to talk about what's happening in our world.  This space has become a place where my friends and family across the world come to check in on me and Riley and I've been less than stellar at keeping it up to date.  I want to do better. I will do better.

So I'm jumping back in.  And in the spirit of spring and rebirth and renewal and pretty things everywhere, I'll be making some changes.  In the next few weeks, you can expect a little blog makeover, some new links and some other fun changes.  I'm excited.  I hope you are, too.

Beautiful Easter Day

My sleep has been disturbed the past several nights.  Horrific images, terrifying stories and disturbing ideas have run rampant in my mind during the time I am trying to rest.  The time I need to rejuvenate.  Often, I have ended up wandering around my condo, waiting for the hours to pass so I can get up and move on with the day.

Last night was the worst it has been.

Rather than waking refreshed on this beautiful Easter morning, instead I woke with all of those anxiety producing thoughts racing through my mind.   I felt physically ill from wakefulness of the night, felt like my skin was crawling with the aftermath of the dreams. 

I knew I needed to move my body in order to work though some of the thoughts in my mind, but I also knew I was in no shape, physically or mentally, to run or bike.  Instead, I grabbed my dog's leash, zipped up a fleece to ward off the chill of the early morning, and started walking.

We walked for miles this morning. 

We walked until my mind worked through some of what was bothering me.
We walked until I was able to let go of the disturbing images in my head.
We walked until angry words were no longer ringing in my ears.

and then we kept walking.

We walked until I noticed the spring time birds singing.
We walked until I heard the cathedral bells chime out their Easter morning greeting.
We walked until I could smell the sweet fragrance of a million tender blooms.
We walked until my eyes and mind were focused on the blossoming flowers, the budding trees, and the soft, sweet breeze.

and then we began to walk home.
And as we walked, I felt my heart open up, and I  began to feel grateful.

Grateful for the beautiful place I call home.
Grateful for the beautiful people I call family and friends.
Grateful for the beautiful girl who calls me 'Mom'.
Grateful for my faith, for forgiveness and for the future.

We arrived home, and I readied myself to attend church service, to celebrate the resurrection of my savior. 
And as I walked into my place of worship, I was no longer focused on the terrors of last night or the anxiety of this morning.

Instead, I entered with an open heart and a clear mind.
And simply gave thanks for the beauty of this day.

May 12 of 12 - iPhone Edition

On mornings that I don't have Riley and am working in my downtown office, I often walk to work. I was almost ready to walk into my building when my iPhone reminded me that it was the 12th. It was too late to walk back home and get my camera, so I decided to just capture the day with my iPhone instead.

The view from my downtown desk. I love being able to watch the city and see the Capitol Building when I'm working. It's especially fun on a bright, sunny day.

Ariel view of my desk, mid-project.

This was left on my desk when I stepped away for a few minutes. Still not sure who put it there, but it was a fun little surprise (I love swedish fish.)

The construction near my building. As they say, downtown SLC is rising.

I had lunch at Martine with some friends - yummy food and great company.

Since I had walked to work that morning, I walked home in the afternoon to get my car before I picked up Riley from school. I really enjoyed the warm weather, the dappled sunshine and the blossoms.
I am convinced I live in the most beautiful part of SLC.

Riley was being camera-shy at dinner. The part you can't see, because she ate them already,
is a large serving of peas. The Girl is eating her veggies! Yay!

Riley knocked herself in the eye with her doorknob, and ended up with a scrape.
It's turning black and blue today - her first black eye.
I'm sure there are more where that came from.

On an evening walk with the Girl and G. Riley is enthralled by the ants.

Lilacs are my favorite spring time flower - they remind me of my grandma.
Me and the bugness on our walk. Yeah - we look a bit alike. :)

Watching G watch the sunset. It was a beautiful evening.

And now, Spring.

Wind swept skies and rain soaked sidewalks ushered in the new season. The mountains near my home are covered in snow, stubbornly ignoring the date the calendar shows. A water-color sun tries to break through the ragged clouds, it's tenacity echoed by the tender buds that push their way through the still frozen ground. Winter seems reluctant to release it's grip on the earth, but slowly, surely, it will grow weary against the incessant flirting of Spring.

Spring. A time of re-birth. Of renewal. A time to make wishes on the wind and whisper promises to yourself, those specific promises (yes, those ones!) you know you must keep. It's a time when you shed the weight of seasons past and open yourself up to the warmth that holds you steady as your colors begin to unfold.

A time of forward motion, starting from wherever you find yourself today.
A time to let go of the grudges and grief you once held close, a shield against the storms.
A time to discover the strength and beauty that will unfurl with enough sunshine and water.
A time to burst, to blossom.
A time to bloom.

I'm ready for Spring. I'm so ready for Spring.

So what?

~I'm not a multi-millionaire or a trophy wife.
~I haven't won an Ironman or a Nobel prize.
~I can't do multi-level regression equations in my head and I don't know the first twenty integers of Pi.

So What?

~I have a beautiful daughter who brings joy to my world.
~I have wonderful friends who are the very definition of family, fullness and faith.
~I have windswept Summer Solstice nights in the park with ducks, bread crumbs, giggles, squeals and shrieks.

I have everything I need.