These are Riley's shoes.
She's had countless pair like these: Usually black. Mary jane style (her favorite.) Usually with velcro closures.
Always with well worn spots on the toes .
It used to frustrate me to no end how hard she is on her shoes. It felt like, no matter what I said, no matter the situation, the minute the Girl got new shoes, they had scuffs all over and the toes were pretty much destroyed. Case in point- these shoes in the picture are only about a week and a half old.
I really let this bother me for a while. I tried everything I could think of to make her be more careful, to get her to be a little more cautious and to consider her footwear when she was playing.
Then I really watched her play. I watched her kick and crawl and leap and roll around on the floor. I watched her run and jump and crash and fall. It became immediately apparent why her shoes were always so beat up - she played HARD, and her shoes took the brunt of her play. But her face during this crazy, exuberant play is what i couldn't get over - how her eyes lit up with the thrill of discovery, and her gigantic smile appeared when she nailed a particularly intense landing. There was no question in my mind that she wasn't thinking about her shoes. She was thinking about how she could play harder, run faster, climb higher and push her own limits.
So I got over myself.
She can wear less-than-perfect shoes, or I can buy new shoes. This part of her childhood- the ability to play with such reckless abandon - this part only lasts for a limited time. I want her to completely enjoy it and I want to completely enjoy it, without the burden of worrying about something as unimportant as shoes.
As I've been thinking about what I'm grateful for tonight, I realized that this photo sums up neatly many of those exact things.
To be specific, I'm grateful for:
-The little girl whose feet wear these shoes.
-The patience and perspective I gain by being her mom.
-Her energy, her excitement, and her eagerness to explore her world and her willingness to let me be a part of this.
-The knowledge that I'm finally letting go of the idea of perfection and learning to embrace "good enough." It's a work in process, but I can see progress.
- The resources we enjoy that allow me to not worry much about replacing her "beat-up before their time" shoes (I know that many families have a much tougher time meeting these basic needs.)
Wrecked shoes or not, our lives are really, really good in so many ways. I have much to be grateful for.
Next week's Intentions:
*Drink more water. I'm usually pretty good about this, but lately I need to nudge myself along. I'm hoping that setting this intention will help me return to a good habit.
*Get out and ride my bike at least twice this week. It seems increasingly hard to fit this is, but there is nothing as good for my head and my body as a kick-ass bike ride.
*Continue to try to stay focused on the task at hand. I noticed some improvement last week, but continuing to shine a light on this will help me move closer to where I want to be.
Looking forward to a new week- I always enjoy new beginnings.
Happy Sunday to you!
No comments:
Post a Comment