Tonight, I'm:

Wondering where November went.  Two big trips, one to California and one to Colorado.  Two different bouts of illness for my Girl.  Two rounds of antibiotics.  Too many trips to the pediatrician. Too many sleepless nights.  Two writing deadlines.  Oh, yeah.  That's where November went.

Looking forward to a weekend with no obligations.  It's the first time in more than two months that we aren't out of town or have some major commitment.  I'm pretty happy about spending the next couple of days relaxing at home.

Enjoying the latest issue of the Sun. I love this magazine - I am always so happy to pull it out of my mailbox.

Thinking about getting out my sewing machines.  I haven't felt pulled to sew for a while, but I have some ideas brewing that I think I'm just about ready to work on.

Wishing my favorite Brother-In-Law a Happy Birthday, and wishing him and my sister Happy Fifth Anniversary.  I can't believe they have been married for five years (and they already have three kids-crazy!) 

I made her bouquet the night before her wedding using flowers from Costco and a random green ribbon.  Don't be jealous of my resourceful, crafty skills, ya'll.  It's my pioneer heritage coming through. :)

Planning for another trip in the near future - this time to Baltimore, for work.  This actually means planning for two trips -my travel back east, and my daughter's travel to Idaho to stay with my family while I am gone.  I'm not exactly amped about this particular trip, but I am VERY excited to spend an evening or two with the lovely Arabella.  And I might even get to snuggle her baby, which you KNOW I'm thrilled about.

Listening to some new musical favorites, found through Spotify's artist radio recommendations. Spotify is, by far, my favorite app these days (well, maybe my 2nd favorite.  It's neck and neck with Instagram.)

Watching Riley decorate our Christmas tree.  She wants to make all the decorations herself this year, and I am not about to argue.  It won't be anything worthy of Martha Stewart or Pinterest, but I can see her little project filling up many hours over the next month.  I am neutral, at best, about the holidays, so I am more than happy to keep it simple for me and entertaining for her.

Sending love, good energy and strength to a couple of friends who are going through particularly rough times right now.  It's hard, sometimes - these paths we choose to walk.  But both of these ladies have offered me love, acceptance and guidance when I most needed it, and what you put out there comes back to you multiplied.  So I'm sending it back their way, along with armfuls of courage and all the bravery they'll need.  Love you.

Grateful for the amazing people, the great experiences and the grand adventure that is my life.  Truly, ya'll - it's pretty marvelous. 

photo by the beautiful and talented Amy Gretchen.  Thanks for capturing this, G.

Sick Days

They say that you can always count on death and taxes. For me, I can also always count on my Girl getting sick, and requiring time off school and work, either immediately before or after a vacation. Never fails- and this time was no exception. We just returned from a week in California, and we are scheduled to Leave for Denver to see friends for thanksgiving early next week. I should've just expected some sort of illness in between the two.

Re-entry

Yesterday, Riley and I returned from a week in the Bay Area with my sister and her family.   We had no major plans for our time there, and it was so nice to just hang out with them.  To just be there.  To make dinner and read bedtime stories.  There were trips to Toys R Us (what's the fun in being an aunt if you can't spoil them?) and afternoons at the park and the zoo, but mostly, we just hung out.  And that kind of downtime, that kind of time with people I quite simply adore - it was just what I needed.  

Back in the game

A couple of months ago, I decided it was time to quit avoiding dating- something I had very purposefully set on a shelve for the spring and summer.  I figured it was time to get back in the game, although after the last couple of weeks, I'm thinking the game changed while I was on hiatus. 

I had a date last week with a guy who was perfect on paper.  Unfortunately, that particular experience left me feeling like he was checking off items on a list, trying to decide whether I met his criteria for long term potential.  It felt like more of a job interview than anything else.  At one point, he even asked if I'd ever consider "relocating" to Provo.  Who says "relocating" other than in context of a professional move? It was really, really odd.  

But I digress.

Forever from here

"Mom, I can see forever from here."

Then...

"Mom, how far is forever?"

Then...

"Mom, I want all of forever."

Me, too, baby.

Me. too.

Inspiration today

After a summer that was a bit... well... we'll just say lacking in enlightenment... I'm happy to say that I'm finding my groove again, and soaking up some serious inspiration lately.  I have a few go-to sources for my creative mojo, and I wanted to share some of the people and words that are inspiring me lately. 


***
This blog post on Simplemom.net- I read this post on a quick break from work this morning, and I kept thinking "yes! yes! YES!" with every sentence.  It hits hard on the very things I'm struggling with lately-being able to release the idea of 'perfection,' and being ok with 'good enough.'  This Fall has brought a lot of changes to our little household, and has required a lot of adjustments to expectations, priorities and schedules (I'll admit it, I've had a hard time going with the flow sometimes.)  This post was a great reminder that it's unrealistic (also, unhealthy and unreasonable) to expect perfection - sometimes just getting out of bed and giving the day a go is the best that's gonna happen.  And that's ok.  Go read it.  Right now.  You'll be glad you did.

A day in the garden

It's not often that I get a day to myself, with no demands, no obligations and no "must dos."  In fact, I can't actually remember the last time one of those days presented itself.  But it did today, and the timing couldn't have been more perfect. 

I spent most of the day outside.  I started with a long walk around my neighborhood with my dog, and when we returned, I found that the walls of my home couldn't contain my still-restless spirit.  So, with camera, and journal in hand, I went out again-seeking space, seeking breath, seeking peace.    

Initially, I was headed to my favorite canyon to hike, but I found myself drawn to Red Butte Garden, one of my favorite places in Salt Lake City.  Despite it being a much-loved place, I hadn't spent time there in a while, and after realizing how long it had been,  I changed my direction and went there instead. 

 The light was perfect, so I wandered the trails with camera in hand; enjoying the cool day, the sounds of the birds and the insects, and of course the flowers that, although they are beginning to fade with autumn's approach, are still staggeringly beautiful.

I walked the entire garden with my camera, waiting for the words I needed to surrender to the page.  After an hour of photographing the beauty I found all around,  I retreated to my favorite spot - the fragrance garden- and settled in to write.  I waited for few minutes, eyes closed until I felt the words on the edge of my breath, and then- I wrote. 

I wrote about feelings I hadn't known how to describe, and yet the words kept showing up.  I wrote about how I felt about my life, about what was going well and what needed to change.  I wrote about the joy I felt in where I'm at and how far I have come, and about the frustrations and questions I just can't quite get a lock on.  I wrote about the elation of watching my child learn to read and the lump I always get in my throat when she takes another big step towards independence.  I wrote about how blessed I am to be surrounded by wonderful and amazing friends and family and the loneliness that sometimes still sneaks up on me, catching me off guard.

 I wrote for well over an hour, my handwriting filling up pages and pages and pages and then, exhausted and emotionally drained, I simply sat there-silent-for almost another hour.

Tonight, as I was uploading the photos from today, I was struck by how much I needed today, how much we all need days like today.  I needed this time to myself, time away from the daily demands of life, work, motherhood, etc. to just reflect on where I am, how I am living, what I am giving, and what direction I need to be moving towards.  I'm not sure I am any closer to the answers, but I feel lighter and more peaceful after having handed over the burden of those words to the waiting pages.