When life demands too much ( Gratitude Sunday)

The past couple of weeks have been rough, to say the least.

Between a not-so-fun illness for the Girl, painful dental work for me, the loss of a loved one and some other lame-o drama thrown into the mix, there have been moments (lots of moments!) when I have felt overwhelmed and under -equipped to keep standing and moving forward.  More than once, I have wanted to simply crawl into bed and stay there until the emotional upheaval and the exhaustion passed.  But of course, that wasn't ever an option.  Life doesn't work that way.

Now that I'm on the other side of most of it, I can look back and see how times like these- times when life demands too much- bring their own benefits.  I can be grateful for the strength I receive from my family, the support I receive from friends and co-workers, and the love I've been shown through every ordeal.

As I contemplated this reality tonight, I realized that I simply had to look at the snaps on my phone to see evidence of the blessings that have come with the pain of the past few weeks.  I thought I would share a few here to remind my self of this one powerful truth:  There is a lot of good in my life and even in the darkest time,  I don't have to look hard to find the light. 

This little one- I'm completely smitten with her.

One of my nieces made me an "I love you book." Does it get any better than that?

I haven't seen my youngest brother for almost three years.  It was good to see him, despite the circumstances.

Love these girls.

This girl.  She cracks me up, dance moves and all.

lilacs are my favorite flower.  They remind me of childhood summers.

Me and my wacky little shadow.

Sunday Gratitude and Intentions PLUS 52photos week #1

Being very conscious of those things for which I am grateful is an important practice for me.  It helps  me stay present and grounded and helps shift my focus from frustration or lack to optimism and contentment.   It's powerful, it's very real, and it's something I try to do daily.

I used to blog about these things on Friday as a way to close out the work week, but lately I've noticed that Sunday seems to be the day that I reflect back on the week behind me, and the time I also set intentions for the week ahead.  I already do this privately, but I think I'll begin bringing it here, as well.
 
Gratitude
*I've been a bit confused lately about where and how to focus my professional efforts.  Given that my career is necessary, both as an important part of my mental and emotional makeup, as well as the means to support myself and my daughter, I get rather unsettled when this area of my life feels out of whack.  In the last few days, however, some glitches worked themselves out and I found some clarity on a few other issues.  I'm feeling much better about where things are now. 

*I've had my dog, Harley, for 11 years.  He is my first baby, my sweet, mellow companion, and a constant source of unconditional love.  He is about 14 years old now, elderly in dog years, and his health is depleting.  His hearing is almost gone, he has a benign heart murmur which will eventually lead to congestive heart failure and recently, he developed an eye lesion.  This week has seen us at the vet several times for treatment of his eye- a minor procedure but still very hard for me to handle (read: i sat in my vet's office and cried for an hour.  twice.)  This experience made the fact that he's not going to be around forever very, very real  but opening up to a few people about how hard this is for me has brought so much love and support.  That love and support and the knowledge that I have people to be there for me when some hard choices need to be made eases the heartache.    (Also, for those who are wondering, his eye is much better than expected.  Yay!)

Harley, at the vet on Tuesday, April 23

*Riley and I spent the weekend in Idaho visiting my family.  We hadn't been there in a while and it's always a good time for both of us.  The added bonus for me, though, is that I sleep better at my Dad's house than I do anywhere else on earth.  I don't know why this is, but after a few rough weeks with lots on my mind and too little sleep, I really needed those hours of deep, restoring sleep.  Although I could use another few days of that level of rest, I got enough to feel rested and ready to start another week.

*Oh, yeah...did I mention... it's Spring!  It's Spring!  IT'S SPRING!  Warmer weather!  Bike season begins!  Flowers!  Evening walks!  I am so ready and grateful for this season!

One of many photos I took wandering around my neighborhood this week.  I love Spring!

Intentions:
Moving into next week, I am setting the intentions to:
*Be mindful of those things I know help me stay balanced:  clean, healthy food, plenty of exercise and a tidy, organized home.  
*Stay focused on the task at hand.  I've picked up a tendency of floating between several projects at once, meaning I get a bunch of things halfway done.  I find this method distracting and unsatisfying, so I'm working hard to break this habit.
*Carry a 'real' camera with me more often.  My iPhone is such a handy way to capture life, but I find that photos I take with my Cannon or even my toy film cameras are more satisfying; they are usually visually superior and it gives me a chance to work on my technical photography skills.  Plus, having my 'real' camera shifts me into a more creative mindset-which is never a bad thing. 

So now I'm wondering -
What are you grateful for this week?
What intentions are you setting for the week ahead?


52 Photos project:
I'm playing along with Bella's 52 Photos Project, and this is week's prompt was "conversation."  Luckily, I took a photo of a my sweet 15 year old niece right before her shift started at work.  Having a chance to catch up with her, even for just a few minutes, was a highlight of my day. 

 

Re-entry

Yesterday, Riley and I returned from a week in the Bay Area with my sister and her family.   We had no major plans for our time there, and it was so nice to just hang out with them.  To just be there.  To make dinner and read bedtime stories.  There were trips to Toys R Us (what's the fun in being an aunt if you can't spoil them?) and afternoons at the park and the zoo, but mostly, we just hung out.  And that kind of downtime, that kind of time with people I quite simply adore - it was just what I needed.  

Little rewards

Riley locked herself in the bathroom today.  I figured she was working on some elaborate hairdo or makeup look, so I didn't worry about the time she was in there or the bangs and bumps I kept hearing from behind the closed door.  When she was done,  she grabbed me by the hand and ushered me in, singing that she had a "big surprise" for me.

She had cleaned the bathroom. For me.  All by herself.  Because, in her words, she wanted to "show me that she loved me by doing something nice." 

Of course, it wasn't perfect.  I could see that she had used the decorative hand towels to mop the floor and it appeared she wiped the mirror and countertops down using her detangling spray.  But things were picked up and put in the right spot, and overall, she had done a pretty decent job.

She declared it "sparkling clean" with a huge, proud smile on her face.  I declared it "absolutely perfect" because, well...I think it is.

It seems like, as a mother, we have those days when it feels like we give and do and work and help, with little reward or recognition (at least, I have those kind of days.)  But little moments like these remind me that I have a little girl who, somewhere along the way,  learned that it's important to show others that we love them through our actions.   And her actions today spoke volumes to me.

A clean bathroom is nice, but above it all is this truth:  I love this little girl.  She loves me back.  That's all the reward I need.

Oh, I'm in love.

Riley and I made a quick trip to California over the past few days to meet my newest niece, Naiya Mae.  She is the most adorable baby girl with just enough attitude to let you know it's there, but enough sweetness to melt the hardest of hearts.

Oh, I'm in love.

My sister blooms in the most beautiful way when she has a new baby.  She positively glows with the happiness and love that surrounds her.  You can see it here when she had the twins, and with the addition of this little one, there is a deeper, more profound light.

Honestly, she's just breathtaking. 

It's touching to watch my brother-in-law fall more and more in love with his little girl. For a guy who is naturally such a tease, it's fun to see this more sensitive side of him. 

Still, one of the best parts of the trip was watching the twinners learn how to navigate their way into becoming being big brothers.  They've always had each other, and now they have a little sister to love and protect, to torture and tease.  And I'm certain there will be plenty of all of that.  And more (especially more of the teasing.) 

 

 Riley loved meeting her newest baby cousin, and talked incessantly about how tiny and delicate she is.  It was heartwarming to watch her enjoy this new little life and to listen to her wonder-filled questions while she tried to comprehend the miracle that is baby Naiya.  

 

I've said it before, and I'll say it many more times....There is nothing like being an aunt.  It's one of the best things in my world, and the addition of this new little one adds that much more sweetness and love to something I already cherish with my whole heart.  

Seriously, is she not precious? 
Oh, I'm in love.

Nephew bonding

March somehow flew by without much (or anything, really) written in this space.  It was a busy month, with a lot of work and family and personal commitments.  Still, one weekend stands out as March's highlight - I wanted to make sure it was recorded here.

I spent a long weekend in California with my sister and her family, helping them prepare for the arrival of their new baby girl.  Because I didn't bring Riley along, I was able to really connect with my twinner nephews, spending time with them in a way that I could not have if she had been there. (I love my girl and all, but she has a way of running the show. )

Tate on the left, Liam on the right

We played cars, we sang songs (about trains), we watched movies (about cars), we played trains, we read books (about construction sites), we played trucks.  Notice the vehicular theme?  These boys - they are ALL BOY!

 I'm so glad I was able to spend this time with them.  It was a once in a lifetime shot - their baby sister would be arriving shortly after and it's rare for me to travel to visit them without Riley. So this time was important - the only time we'd have this dynamic that I so enjoyed.  Having Tate stroke my arm while I was reading to them, or Liam put his little hands on my cheek and snuggle in...the memories still melt me.  I love these little boys.

Liam and his favorite car

Sweet little Tate

 Being an Aunt is one of the very best things in my life, something for which I am so grateful.  I cherish the opportunity to love the children of my brothers and sisters in the way only an Aunt can.  Each niece and nephew holds a special place in my heart.  It was so much fun being able to spend time with these little guys. 

Thankful

Riley and I spent Thanksgiving in Idaho with my family.  We stayed at my Dad's home, and enjoyed four days of family, fun, and aMAZing mexican food (we branched out a little for Thanksgiving Dinner this year.)  We drove back to Utah this afternoon, and I spent most of the drive thinking about how good things are for us right now, and how thankful I am for the life I live and for how things always seem to turn out how they are supposed to.  It reminded me that I needed to catch up on posting my November Gratitude lists here.  

upside down me

Nov. 14 - Grateful for Mondays, for my full schedule and the fulfillment that I find in my work.
Nov. 15 - Grateful for the opportunity i have to work with several 8-11 year old girls in my new church commitment.
Nov. 16- Grateful for a flexible schedule and an understanding boss - taking a sick day to care for Riley is not nearly as stressful as it could be. 
Nov. 17- Grateful for the sorted and organized home and mind that comes with some time to myself.
Nov. 18- Grateful for the chance to end the week with some of my favorite people and for an evening of rest and relaxation.
Nov. 19- Grateful for my dear friend who helped me out at a moment's notice, and for the cheerful spirits that she and her three girls posess.  Being in their home, even just for a very short time, left me uplifted and happy.
Nov. 20 - Grateful that, despite the fact that Riley is not feeling her best, we were able to enjoy a quiet Sunday at home together- reading, cooking and napping.
Nov. 21- Grateful that my girl was well enough to go to school today, and that I finished up my Christmas shopping today.  I still have to work on some gifts that I am making, but by and large - I'm done!
Nov. 22- Grateful that I'm finally able to work out at my normal level.  It's been almost a month since I've been able to work hard at the gym, and I really missed it!
Nov. 23- Grateful for my daughter's newest obsession - Gala apples.  I'm always happy when she adds another healthy item to her limited eating repertoire. 
Nov. 24- Grateful for my family, especially those that are not with us today.  I'm very blessed to be part of such a tight knit family, a group that truly enjoys each other's company.  I'm also thankful for the hilarity a turkey pinata adds to the traditional Thanksgiving celebrations.

Riley and Lexi and the iPad

Nov. 25 - Grateful for the friendship my sweet nieces offer to my daughter.  As an only child, they provide her with a sense of what it would be like to have siblings, and she just adores them (as do I).  I'm so grateful that we can spend time with them this weekend.
Nov. 26- Grateful for the truly excellent sleep I've had for the past three nights.  I sleep better at my Dad's home than anywhere else on earth, and three days of that type of rest will hold me for several weeks.  I always leave there with a rested and happy heart.


Things are good.
Things are just really, really good.
I'm so very Thankful. 

November 12of12

I wanted to get this up a few days ago, but oh well.  Better late than never.  And I decided to skip the grid this month again, because, well...I'm lazy like that.

I blame the cold medicine. 

This month's 12of12 was fun to capture because my brother, his wife and their three little girls were staying with us for the weekend.  K&J did some christmas shopping on Saturday and left the girls with me for a while- such a fun way to spend the day. 

the morning started off with cereal and coloring.

Slurpees seemed like a good idea at the time.

I forgot how sweet it is to have a sleeping baby around.

We made cookies because, you know, why not?

My hallway became an art studio.

Oh, my Hallee.  Sweetest girl on earth. I adore her. 

For some reason, i decided to can some homemade pizza sauce in the middle of everything.  I blame the cold medicine. 

One of several pillow fights that erupted throughout the day. 

Chilling after a hard day of shopping. 

The girls made personal pizzas for dinner.

Then wound the day up by doing a little bit of yoga.

Jamie and I wound the day up with Alkaseltzer cold medicine.  Disgusting, but surprisingly effective. 

Coming Home

Yes, Disneyland was fun, fun, fun! (photos from that coming soon)

Still, the small amount of time we spent on the beach,

the waves,
the sand,
the water,
the discoveries,
the games,
the shells,
the pure sense of openness and freedom I always find by the sea...

This was my favorite hour of an amazing weekend.