How motherhood looks todayI did not expect my turn at motherhood to look like it does. First, I imagined raising a large, chaotic family, complete with dogs and pranks and soccer games, then I imagined growing old with no children at all. I didn't expect to be a single mother. I didn't expect to only have one child. I'm not complaining, not at all, because this version of motherhood is very good to me. It's full of a loving, supportive family who backs me up 100% and so many friends who provide all the light and love I could ask for. I make a good living and I'm able to find a way to do the things I want to do and be who I want to be. I get some time for myself and really enjoy the time I have with my kiddo. This version of motherhood might not be the easiest path, but I cherish the lessons learned, the love shared and the strength gained. No, I can't complain about how my life looks. And being a mother is definitely the best thing about it.
It still surprises me how tender I feel about being a mother. It still catches me off guard when my emotions well to the surface easily and with little notice. It still amazes me when I remember feeling her shift and move inside of me, knowing that I was carrying a little girl who would someday grow up and carry her own child. It still takes my breath away when I see how clearly she is her own person, and yet how like me she is. I still feel like she is my heart walking around outside of my body. I don't expect that this awe will ever really go away.
Becoming a mother changed me in ways that are hard to describe. I never imagined that one tiny child would hold the key to opening a well of love so deep, so strong, so intense that it would so completely change how my life looked and who I was. I never imagined it, and yet I would not do one single thing differently. I'm proud of who she is becoming and I'm proud that some of her is the product of who I am. I'm proud of who I am, and of the qualities I've adopted and strengthened in this phase of my life. I'm so grateful to live this life, to have this child, to be this mother. On this day, when we celebrate the mother's in our lives, I'm so thankful that this is how motherhood looks to me. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Happy Mother's Day!
4 comments:
:) This made me smile so B.I.G! Happy Mama's day to you ~ everyday. xo
I love how motherhood looks on you. This piece is beautiful and inspiring and honest. Riley is so lucky. I'll be sure to tell her when she is a surly teen if you promise to do the same for me with the boys! Love you
Beautifully said! You are an amazing woman!
I'm an only child raised by a single mother and I give props to my mom every day! She is amazing! Keep doing what you're doing and you're daughter will continue to grow and be beautiful!
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