"To sleep, perchance to dream"

I'm letting Riley sleep in a bit today, because the last few days have seen her up until somewhere between 11:30 pm and 1 am. She just can't seem to get the hang of falling asleep. I'm not quite sure what to do about it. I've tried keeping her on a schedule (doesn't seem to make a difference), trying to take away naps (not really under my control when she is at daycare), giving her melatonin (worked for about a week, then nope), tried to really wear her out so she's exhausted come bedtime (just results in a grouchy, still-not-asleep Riley). I feel so bad for her because her little body needs to rest. I'm now open to suggestions. Anyone? Anyone?

Part of this feels like my fault because she tells me that she wants to go to sleep but her brain keeps telling her to think about things. I so know how this feels. Poor little one, she inherited my overactive mind.

Going to Ground

It's rare for me to get sick, rarer still for me to take time off work to recuperate.
I tend to soldier through until I emerge on the other side.
It's rare for me to spend not just one day, but f-o-u-r, in bed asleep.
I tend to, at the very least, try to keep up with my email or catch up on reading.
It's rare for me to spend the evenings curled up on the couch with Riley, watching movies.
I tend to make sure we stay busy and active.
It's rare for me to not feel guilty about all this rest and downtime.
I tend to berate myself for leisure when I feel like I should be working.

I've spent most of the week at home, recuperating from an unexpected sinus infection (I mean -- seriously, people--it's AUGUST!) and sleeping off the effects of the illness and the antibiotics. Although I'm over the worst of it, I'm still tired and I do hope to regain some of my usual energy soon.

I'm grateful that I had the chance to go to ground this past week, to recover and to restore. I'm grateful that I'm learning that, although hard to do, sometimes I need to care for myself first.

Random Tuesday-ness

Bowl of hearts

A snippet of what's on my mind lately:

*I have what I am certain is a sinus infection. I guess my regular February visitor is making an August appearance this year (Boo!)
*While I am all in favor of the judicious use of antibiotics, I'm hoping that my doctor decides that's just what I need for now. I need to knock this sucker out so I can enjoy the rest of biking season.
*I am so grateful for my Mom and my Sister-in-Law and for their willingness to help me out. What would I do without them? How did I get so lucky?
*I'm in the mood for a bedroom makeover. Nothing major, just some new paint, new bedding and maybe a little bit of work on one of my closets to make it more efficient. Whatever happens in there, it will be some shades of blue. Perhaps I'll call it a birthday present to myself and do it sooner rather than later.
*Riley's birthday party plans are in full swing and we'll be throwing a "princess-themed" bash in a couple of weeks. She's beyond excited. I always swore I wouldn't do the big girlie birthday parties, but I think this one will be a lot of fun for her, and that makes it fun for me.
*It's funny how my perspective on so many things has changed after having a child. She pushes me to lean into the uncomfortable in so many ways that I just didn't expect.
*Are you on Pinterest? I'm a little bit obsessed with it. I love being able to find a categorize great ideas so easily.
*I'm less and less enamored by Facebook and think it's time to get off it completely. My only hangup is that it's the only form of contact I have with a few friends and I don't want to lose that.
*Actually, that last statement is pretty sad. I need to do something about that and connect in person.
*I have started using Twitter and it's fun and way less of a time-suck that FB. Are you on Twitter? Let's connect! You can follow me by clicking the button on my left sidebar.
*Did you notice I'm part of the Blogher publishing network now? I'm super-excited about this and am looking forward to working with such a great group!
*I'm considering making some upgrades to my blog to help showcase some projects I'm working on. I'm not sure what this means yet, exactly, but I think it may mean migrating to another site, or perhaps linking this one somewhere else. Actually, just thinking about this makes my head hurt. I'm going to stop now.
*Less than a month until my annual pilgrimage to Squam Art Workshops. I'm heading to New Jersey first to roadtrip to New Hampshire with the other Amy, and I'm very excited to spend some travel time with her! We can fill hours with phone conversation, but it's not the same as face to face.
*Summer is winding down so quickly, but I can't complain. It's been such a fantastic summer, full of fun and family and friends. I'm trying to soak up what's left and get ready for an amazing autumn.

So what's on your mind lately? How are you enjoying the last few weeks of summer?

Tour of Utah - Stage 4

This afternoon, I spent a few sunny hours enjoying two of my favorite things - bicycles and hot men who shave their legs!

It's the Tour of Utah time, baby!

Besides the bikes and athletic men (which should not be discounted), watching the race also gave me a great chance to practice photographing moving subjects. All of these photos were shot on manual. There were some really terrible shots, but I started to figure it out as the laps counted down. I'm pleased with a few of them.

Good Enough

*hanging out on my roof*

One of my intentions for this year was to create some s-p-a-c-e in my life. Space to play, to spend time with loved ones, to explore new places, to do the things that make me feel whole and complete. Between work, raising a child, and trying to take care of myself, I have a crammed-full life, and yet I have a mind and heart that need a lot of space and time to stay balanced. I simply was not getting that space or time, and it was causing a little bit (ok, a lot) of emotional upheaval.

Lately, though I've noticed just how much space has opened up in my life. It's not that I'm any less busy, or have any fewer obligations. In fact, things have ramped up a bit. My daughter doesn't spend much time with her Dad these days due to his schedule, thus limiting my own schedule, my work is busier than ever, I spend quite a bit of time with friends and family, and I'm actively working on developing new talents and hobbies.

Despite this, I have found that the space I needed has, indeed, opened up, and I can attribute it to some well-considered processes. After spending time making sure that I was solid on what my priorities were, I made three very intentional and much needed changes in how I live my life.

-I spent some serious time, energy, and elbow grease getting organized and on top of things around my house (stuff like decluttering, meal planning, budgeting,etc.) This keeps me from feeling like I'm always playing catch up with housework and grocery shopping and the minutiae of daily life. I thrive on structure, and this type of planning creates inordinate amount of breathing room for me.

- I started saying no to everything that wasn't an absolute YES. I used to think that I should attend every book club to which i was invited, go to every concert that sounded fun, and train for every race or event that came my way. I've realized that I just can't maintain this type of pace, so now I opt out of everything that doesn't just scream my name.

-Finally, I've really worked on adopting the "good enough" approach to life. This is hard for the type A perfectionist in me, but I'm getting better and better at knowing when "good enough" is, indeed, "good enough". (I think that this one thing alone has been the most important change I've made.)

So yeah...I've done exactly one triathlon and no century rides this year. But I've spent several evenings walking around my neighborhood with Riley, enjoying the lovely scenery and people that abound. I still try to eat a very healthy diet, but I plan super simple meals for most evenings and get my foodie fixes on the weekends when I can enjoy the process of cooking healthy, yummy meals. I get plenty of exercise, but if I don't feel like going on a hard run or killer ride, I don't force it. Instead I take a long, rambling walk or do some yoga. I go to bed when I'm tired instead of trying to finish up that 'one last thing'. I put in a solid day at work and then I shut it off and leave it there.

This type of living is not something you achieve and boom! You're done! Like everything else, it's a continual process and it's never going to be perfect. Sure, it often seems like I could be doing more, and in some cases, I wish I could, but right now, life has slowed down to a very enjoyable pace and I'm savoring it. I'm enjoying the evenings spent on the roof, the books I wouldn't normally have time to read and the time I get to watch my daughter learn and grow. These changes are giving me a lot of space and breathing room, and bringing with them a lot of peace and happiness.

My life these days - - it's really, REALLY good.

A Gratitude List

As a very long, very hectic, very draining week draws to a close, I have carried with me the feeling of being so thankful for the good things in my life, for the things that keep me going when life gets overwhelming.

This morning, I am so grateful for:

*an evening spent celebrating the impending arrival of a good friend's baby girl with wonderful women, excellent food and lots of fun.
*this afternoon's plans of a party and a parade. Should be a fun, relaxing afternoon for both the girl and me.
*an 80 minute massage and oriental hot rock treatment - one of my favorite ways to rejuvenate and recharge. I know I'm blessed to be able to indulge in this type of luxury every once in a while.
*family and friends who are always there, always my constant sources of love and support.
*my daughter's growing independence and ability to think and do for herself.
*deepening friendships with some really amazing people.
*living in a place where my surroundings- whether downtown in the urban jungle, or out on the lake or in the mountains- are a constant source of inspiration.
*the knowledge that I'm exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing - understanding this has helped put a lot of issues into perspective.
*a fuller understanding of my own goals and desires, and how to make them happen.
*getting my life organized and open enough that there is time for fun and play without dropping the ball on work, my home or my other obligations.
*neighbors and friends who share their garden goodness with us.
*knowing that I am in a really happy, really healthy, really balanced place.

This is just some of what is filling me up lately. What are you grateful for today?

Goodbye, July

Where did July go? It seems like a few days ago that we were celebrating Independence day, and out of nowhere, it's August 1st and I'm getting 'back to school sale' flyers in the mail!?!

Not sure how this happened.

Anyway, I thought I'd share a few random photos from July that make me smile.
The last two are Riley's iPhoneography. I love her Self Portrait (she's beautiful, no?)
She described the last photo as "How you look when you drive, Mama." It's fun to see how she sees me. I love it.

Happy August!