Little rewards

Riley locked herself in the bathroom today.  I figured she was working on some elaborate hairdo or makeup look, so I didn't worry about the time she was in there or the bangs and bumps I kept hearing from behind the closed door.  When she was done,  she grabbed me by the hand and ushered me in, singing that she had a "big surprise" for me.

She had cleaned the bathroom. For me.  All by herself.  Because, in her words, she wanted to "show me that she loved me by doing something nice." 

Of course, it wasn't perfect.  I could see that she had used the decorative hand towels to mop the floor and it appeared she wiped the mirror and countertops down using her detangling spray.  But things were picked up and put in the right spot, and overall, she had done a pretty decent job.

She declared it "sparkling clean" with a huge, proud smile on her face.  I declared it "absolutely perfect" because, well...I think it is.

It seems like, as a mother, we have those days when it feels like we give and do and work and help, with little reward or recognition (at least, I have those kind of days.)  But little moments like these remind me that I have a little girl who, somewhere along the way,  learned that it's important to show others that we love them through our actions.   And her actions today spoke volumes to me.

A clean bathroom is nice, but above it all is this truth:  I love this little girl.  She loves me back.  That's all the reward I need.

Yes.

Today, I'm saying yes to:

Lilacs are my favorite springtime flower!

*creating my own clothes, with my own hands
*clean house and organized closets
*evening "blossom and bug adventures" with my Girl
*a kitchen full of fruits and vegetables (seriously, I love Bountiful Baskets!)
*running 3 plus miles with no hip flexor or broken toe pain (been a while since I could say that!)
*sushi with G-love
*no sugar zucchini brownies (still tweaking this - adapted from this recipe)
*ignoring what annoys me
*long, rambling walks through my neighborhood
*flip flops
*finding enough "me" time
*library visits
*lunchtime bike rides
*staying in tune with my priorities
*watching favorite old movies (Hello - Overboard and Practical Magic!)
*learning more about financial planning
*more time with people who add to my whole
*shopping for new toe nail polish
*early bedtimes
*walking wherever/whenever it's feasible
*making my first quilt

What are you saying 'yes' to these days?

Oh, I'm in love.

Riley and I made a quick trip to California over the past few days to meet my newest niece, Naiya Mae.  She is the most adorable baby girl with just enough attitude to let you know it's there, but enough sweetness to melt the hardest of hearts.

Oh, I'm in love.

My sister blooms in the most beautiful way when she has a new baby.  She positively glows with the happiness and love that surrounds her.  You can see it here when she had the twins, and with the addition of this little one, there is a deeper, more profound light.

Honestly, she's just breathtaking. 

It's touching to watch my brother-in-law fall more and more in love with his little girl. For a guy who is naturally such a tease, it's fun to see this more sensitive side of him. 

Still, one of the best parts of the trip was watching the twinners learn how to navigate their way into becoming being big brothers.  They've always had each other, and now they have a little sister to love and protect, to torture and tease.  And I'm certain there will be plenty of all of that.  And more (especially more of the teasing.) 

 

 Riley loved meeting her newest baby cousin, and talked incessantly about how tiny and delicate she is.  It was heartwarming to watch her enjoy this new little life and to listen to her wonder-filled questions while she tried to comprehend the miracle that is baby Naiya.  

 

I've said it before, and I'll say it many more times....There is nothing like being an aunt.  It's one of the best things in my world, and the addition of this new little one adds that much more sweetness and love to something I already cherish with my whole heart.  

Seriously, is she not precious? 
Oh, I'm in love.

Beautiful Easter Day

My sleep has been disturbed the past several nights.  Horrific images, terrifying stories and disturbing ideas have run rampant in my mind during the time I am trying to rest.  The time I need to rejuvenate.  Often, I have ended up wandering around my condo, waiting for the hours to pass so I can get up and move on with the day.

Last night was the worst it has been.

Rather than waking refreshed on this beautiful Easter morning, instead I woke with all of those anxiety producing thoughts racing through my mind.   I felt physically ill from wakefulness of the night, felt like my skin was crawling with the aftermath of the dreams. 

I knew I needed to move my body in order to work though some of the thoughts in my mind, but I also knew I was in no shape, physically or mentally, to run or bike.  Instead, I grabbed my dog's leash, zipped up a fleece to ward off the chill of the early morning, and started walking.

We walked for miles this morning. 

We walked until my mind worked through some of what was bothering me.
We walked until I was able to let go of the disturbing images in my head.
We walked until angry words were no longer ringing in my ears.

and then we kept walking.

We walked until I noticed the spring time birds singing.
We walked until I heard the cathedral bells chime out their Easter morning greeting.
We walked until I could smell the sweet fragrance of a million tender blooms.
We walked until my eyes and mind were focused on the blossoming flowers, the budding trees, and the soft, sweet breeze.

and then we began to walk home.
And as we walked, I felt my heart open up, and I  began to feel grateful.

Grateful for the beautiful place I call home.
Grateful for the beautiful people I call family and friends.
Grateful for the beautiful girl who calls me 'Mom'.
Grateful for my faith, for forgiveness and for the future.

We arrived home, and I readied myself to attend church service, to celebrate the resurrection of my savior. 
And as I walked into my place of worship, I was no longer focused on the terrors of last night or the anxiety of this morning.

Instead, I entered with an open heart and a clear mind.
And simply gave thanks for the beauty of this day.

What's happening around here

The Girl has decided to change her name.  Apparently "Riley" is too pedestrian, so she has decided on "Stepharina Flutterina 3000."  I'm especially fond of her choice of a number for a last name.  Very cool, very hip.  Perhaps she'll be a mathematician when she grows up.  Or, you know,  a race car.

her first heels - she wears them any time she can.

I made a snap decision today (super unusual for me) to take an impromptu trip next week to meet my new baby niece.  I can't handle not seeing her before May, when I was scheduled to go, so Ms. 3000 and I are heading out for a few days.  I am dying to get my hands on that baby girl!

I've started to run without music.  This began because I forgot my earphones once, and decided to run anyway.  I thought I needed the music to distract me from what I was doing, but it turned out that really tuning into my body, into my breath, made the time fly by much faster, and made the run so much better.  I notice that when I'm tuning into my workout, I push myself harder and run further and faster.  Interesting.

It must be a spring thing, but I am thinking about painting my living room.  It's currently a bright, buttery yellow and while I have loved it, I'm thinking something more mellow might be nice.  I'm not certain I'll get around to it, but it's working it's way through my mind.

Speaking of spring - the weather here has been beautiful and I've been out on my bike several times already.  I am really looking forward to some consistent training this season - last year was rough, cycling wise - and I'm planning on riding a few centuries throughout the summer.  Much of that will depend on my time with my girl, but it's always good for me to have a goal to push for.

Riley, oh excuse me...Ms. 3000, has been so into drawing, painting, sculpting, really anything artistic lately.  I love this! I love seeing her channel some of her creative energy into a tangible product of how she views the world.  Some of her pieces are hilarious and some are so sweet and poignant.  It's such a fun window into her mind.

The artist at work.

Nephew bonding

March somehow flew by without much (or anything, really) written in this space.  It was a busy month, with a lot of work and family and personal commitments.  Still, one weekend stands out as March's highlight - I wanted to make sure it was recorded here.

I spent a long weekend in California with my sister and her family, helping them prepare for the arrival of their new baby girl.  Because I didn't bring Riley along, I was able to really connect with my twinner nephews, spending time with them in a way that I could not have if she had been there. (I love my girl and all, but she has a way of running the show. )

Tate on the left, Liam on the right

We played cars, we sang songs (about trains), we watched movies (about cars), we played trains, we read books (about construction sites), we played trucks.  Notice the vehicular theme?  These boys - they are ALL BOY!

 I'm so glad I was able to spend this time with them.  It was a once in a lifetime shot - their baby sister would be arriving shortly after and it's rare for me to travel to visit them without Riley. So this time was important - the only time we'd have this dynamic that I so enjoyed.  Having Tate stroke my arm while I was reading to them, or Liam put his little hands on my cheek and snuggle in...the memories still melt me.  I love these little boys.

Liam and his favorite car

Sweet little Tate

 Being an Aunt is one of the very best things in my life, something for which I am so grateful.  I cherish the opportunity to love the children of my brothers and sisters in the way only an Aunt can.  Each niece and nephew holds a special place in my heart.  It was so much fun being able to spend time with these little guys. 

One of life's oddities....

Sweet little Hallee looking a tiny bit wicked.

 It's funny how an insane weekend-  full of kids, dogs, brothers, tickling (even my teenage niece was not safe), teasing, torturing, food, wild shrieks from little girls, goofiness and easy laughter - leaves me feeling more sane and centered than I have in a quite while. 

Isn't this the very image of bliss?

Nate is the only uncle that Archer likes - it's pretty obvious why.

  

I don't know what I'd do without my family.

Cooper and Kale - Coop is wild and, in my opinion, proof that  Kharma is real.