Changing Perspective

Change has been a constant theme in my world for the past several months.  I've known for a while that my life needed some big shifts and I've done the work to bring them into reality.  Real estate has been bought and sold.  A different car now sits in my garage.  Some friendships have been deepened and strengthened and others have been been let go.  Priorities have been examined and altered, and big, tall, wide boundaries have been drawn to weed out as much drama and negativity as possible.   I've spent countless hours dismantling a belief structure I was born into to test the various parts for stability and resonance, and now I am steadily working to rebuild what works into a structure that makes room for the parts of me that don't fit into the box while keeping the pieces I love and cherish in the overall design.  I've purged some things and brought in others.  Good hell, I even own not one, but TWO, pairs of skinny jeans.  In some ways, I don't recognize this version of myself, and I mean that in a very good way.  The changes I'm working on making are turning me into a more authentic, more genuine version of myself.  This version might not be as patient with drama, or as willing to say yes when she means no, or as accepting of people who play the victim in their own self-created circumstance (this has been absolutely intolerable for me lately) but this version of me is more authentic, more open and is living closer to my truth than I have been for a while.  Basically, I like where these changes are taking me. 

Here's the strange truth about this self directed campaign of change:   I don't actually like change.  I like ease.  I like calm.  I like routine.  Sure, I like the occasional adventure to a new place or an impromptu roadtrip, but these are exceptions to the rule.  Throwing myself into the types of changes I've been making are almost always the exact opposite of ease and calm and routine, but I am enough of a Pinterest addict to know that sometimes, you have to do what you don't want to do to get what you want to get.  Or maybe that's from Rocky?  I don't know.  The point is still valid. 

None of this has been an easy process, but there has been a certain flow about it that keeps me moving forward, even when I want to push against the flow,  or turn and run like Satan himself was chasing me. 

There are still some big changes I am working to bring into reality, and I've noticed that sometimes, when I think about these kinds of big shifts, I start trying to talk myself out of them.  I hear the old taped loops of "nice girls don't..." or "be careful what you wish for...." or "you don't deserve ..." and I have to make a full and concerted effort to stop those stories where they are and tell myself the new and improved truth.  It's a constant, daily effort. 

Today, when those stories were rearing their ugly heads, I took a walk outside my office, hoping that a shift in scenery would bring about a shift in perspective.  I walked up and down the sidewalk pictured above, and I really focused on the clear blue sky and the leaves crunching under my feet.  The autumn air was cool and crisp, but the sun warmed my shoulders and hair, and I sat for a minute and simply brought my attention to the trees, resplendent in a wash of hazy gold.  After a few minutes of breath work, I felt better.  I snapped a quick pic of the gorgeous October afternoon, and I walked inside to resume my workday.

As I flipped through my phone tonight, I landed on that photo and thought about the big and intimidating changes I'm still working towards.  And then I realized that the entire beauty of the afternoon was brought to me by the process of change.  The leaves had changed from their simple spring green to the dreamy coppers and golds on display today.  The air was refreshingly chilly because the the seasons had changed from summer to fall.   Even the sun was warm on my face instead of high above and blocked by the trees because the change in seasons meant a change of the suns angle.  The earth doesn't fight change, but simply embraces it, lets it work it's magic, and in turn, change makes her shine. 

There's a big metaphor in this story for me.  Maybe there's one for you too?

Picture this

Picture five glorious days surrounded by beautiful scenery and creative energy.

Picture nights by the fire, letting laughter and friendship chase away the cold.

Picture learning a new skill and making new friends in the process.

Picture creeping vines giving way to riotous blooms of color.

Picture sunrise on the dock, the water calm and soothing after a night of storms.

Picture tiny gifts found at your feet.

Picture being with those that understand the whole of you, who know you in a way most can't.

Picture feeling the sun on your face, it's rays warming your body and healing your heart.

Picture watching the tiny movements of nature, and knowing there is something bigger than yourself at work. 

Picture a solitary afternoon on the dock, sorting through thoughts and emotions and finally finding the peace that comes when you know what steps to take next.

Picture a walk through the trees, letting yourself get lost and reminding yourself that you found yourself here before.  And that when you are at home in your soul, you are never really lost, anyway.

Alice's Adventures in (Avenues) Wonderland

Alice paid a little visit to the Avenues Wonderland for Halloween this year.

Although there weren't any Chesire Cats or Magic Mushrooms in sight, there were plenty of fall leaves to admire, berries to pick, and flowers to enjoy.
The Mad Hatter (Riley's Dad) even paid a visit.
And....Alice is out. (Thanks, Funkin, for making her costume! It's a hit!)

Photo Shoot: Keith, Jamie, Hallee, Lexi, and Baby Karlo

This family is very dear to my heart...their home has become my soft place to land, and I adore every member of this family to pieces. Taking their photos was so much fun for me (And Riley - she accompanied me on this shoot and didn't really understand why she wasn't included in the family shots.)


I love this photo of Jamie. She looks happy and peaceful, which is saying something after doing three little girls' hair and driving up the canyon with an infant.
One of the things I admire most about Keith is how he competently handles the responsibility of being a father and a husband, but also enjoys the hell out of his family. It's a trait I have not seen in very many men, and I'm so glad I see it in him (in all my brother's, actually). I think the above photo captures that nicely.


As the father to three little girls, Keith is a complete and total natural and a great big softy. I like these photos because they capture a little bit of the sweet bond between these girls and their daddy.

(Look at Karlo's hair...oh, it makes me so happy!)

I learned a lot from this shot, because it was the first time I had taken photos in direct afternoon sunlight. It's more difficult to shoot in than the filtered light of morning, or the golden light in the evening, and I had to learn to adjust for shadows. I still have a looooooong way to go, but some of these turned out nicely.



This family is full of goofballs. The outtakes were as fun for me as the photos. An example :
Thanks for letting me take these, you crazy Wuthrich's. Couldn't have been more fun!

Photo Shoot: Nate, April and Emma

My sister in law, April, asked me to take their family photos, and I was happy to have a chance to practice my developing photo skills. This shoot was so much fun!
They wanted a western feel and had scoped out some awesome locations that had the kind of vibe they were looking for. The morning light was gorgeous and they were great about giving me the time I needed to really get it right in the camera.
I'm working on manual shooting, and I feel like I learned a lot from these photos. All of the photos in this post were shot on manual and are not edited, with the exception of some minor cropping. I can see a lot of improvements to be made, but I can also see the things I did right, which is exciting.

This is a super-fun family, with lots of personality, and I'm pretty happy with what I captured.
This photo of Emma makes me laugh, because she looks so calm, but everyone who knows her knows she's a wild child! She's such a beauty- I think i caught some of that here. I love this one of April - she was very willing to play with the camera and experiment a little bit. This photo reminds me so much of her - a little bit feisty, a whole lot girly, but definitely not too uptight about it. This is my favorite photo of the day, I think. It captures some of Nate's best traits- his confidence, his strength, and his ability to take care of business. I get a little bit teary-eyed when I look at this, because I'm so damn proud of him.
Thanks, guys, for a fun photo shoot! I learned a lot, and I am thrilled with some of the images that came out of it!