When life demands too much ( Gratitude Sunday)

The past couple of weeks have been rough, to say the least.

Between a not-so-fun illness for the Girl, painful dental work for me, the loss of a loved one and some other lame-o drama thrown into the mix, there have been moments (lots of moments!) when I have felt overwhelmed and under -equipped to keep standing and moving forward.  More than once, I have wanted to simply crawl into bed and stay there until the emotional upheaval and the exhaustion passed.  But of course, that wasn't ever an option.  Life doesn't work that way.

Now that I'm on the other side of most of it, I can look back and see how times like these- times when life demands too much- bring their own benefits.  I can be grateful for the strength I receive from my family, the support I receive from friends and co-workers, and the love I've been shown through every ordeal.

As I contemplated this reality tonight, I realized that I simply had to look at the snaps on my phone to see evidence of the blessings that have come with the pain of the past few weeks.  I thought I would share a few here to remind my self of this one powerful truth:  There is a lot of good in my life and even in the darkest time,  I don't have to look hard to find the light. 

This little one- I'm completely smitten with her.

One of my nieces made me an "I love you book." Does it get any better than that?

I haven't seen my youngest brother for almost three years.  It was good to see him, despite the circumstances.

Love these girls.

This girl.  She cracks me up, dance moves and all.

lilacs are my favorite flower.  They remind me of childhood summers.

Me and my wacky little shadow.

No Spend Month: Week 2, plus Mother's Day Weekend and some other stuff

**I am two weeks into the "no-spend month" and still- so far, so good.  We spent Mother's Day weekend in Denver with some dear friends, but we stuck to our pre-set budget (actually, we were significantly under it)  there were no major purchases, and Riley didn't even ask for 'something special' from our trip.  The latter was a big deal, as the Girl really LOVES to buy 'souvies' (as she calls them) when we travel.   I've noticed myself slipping into the online browsing habit a couple of times, but each time I've quickly caught myself and changed course.  The challenge seems to be doing it's job- at least in that respect.

**Mother's day was lovely.  As I mentioned before, we were in Denver with friends, and celebrating it with them was a great way to go, complete with cute crafts, yummy food, perfect weather and Riley lip-synching a mother's day song in church.  Classic Riley. 

Yep, we sorta resemble each other. 

I sure do love this Girl and am so grateful I have the opportunity to be her Mom.  

**While in Denver, I ran this 5K with my friend and her 9 year old daughter, plus about 2000 more women and girls (and some guys, although I think it was supposed to be a women's only event.)   I was paired up with a little girl who didn't have an adult running with her, and we made a game of picking a pair of runners and trying to stay ahead of them.  It was silly, but it kept her running most of the time, and I'm happy to report we won our race with the 'lady in the blue hat' and her daughter.  Being in this event reminded me how much I like running (despite the weird knee issue I'm having right now) and how much I enjoy the energy and motivation that comes from training for and participating in races.  I'm on the lookout for a few fun, casual, local events to run this summer.

**The friends that we visited have been working hard lately to make positive, healthy changes to their lifestyles, and I gotta say - it's really awesome!  They all look great, but on top of that, you can tell that their family as a whole has embraced the concept of healthy living as a family value.  I came home feeling inspired to take a closer look at how I'm doing healthy living-wise, both personally and for my little family.  While it's not all bad, I will say this:  There is room for improvement.

So that's where we are today- still on track with 'no spend month,' still working on living a healthy lifestyle, still loving on this crazy little girl who calls me 'Mama.' 

52Photos Project - Week 3

One of my favorite things to do in my city is to explore the various neighborhoods,  and one of my very favorites is 9th & 9th.  It's a relaxed, funky little corner of the city that is home to my favorite restaurant, fun little shops and a yoga studio I frequent (if one could call my yoga frequent.  ahem.)

When I saw the prompt for this week's 52Photos Project, I knew a visit to the 9th & 9th  neighborhood was in my future. That way, I could take some photos of the "street art" and I could eat at Mazza - two very good reasons to head that way.   

I took a few different photos that day, all of which could be considered "street art" (I'll post some others to Instagram) but I chose this one to represent this week's theme.   I really love this painting - Ganesh is supposed to be incredibly powerful,  and I'm drawn to what he represents.  I'm considering wearing a friend's Ganesh necklace to help set in motion some changes I have in mind, but that's a topic for a whole different blog post.  So, anyways....this week's 52 photos submission.

No Spend Month - Week 1 in is the books

One week down in the 'No Spend Month' and so far, so good.  No "things" have been purchased.  Only food, gas and childcare- all of which are 'approved' expenses.

A few observations for my first no-spend week:

1.  I get A LOT of email and snail mail that is consumer driven.  I honestly didn't realize just how many emails I receive every single day that advertised the latest sale or special offers or whatnot and I am taking action to get rid of them.  I am taking the time to unsubscribed to all emails I would normally just delete and am compiling a list of the various catalogs that I get each day and calling the vendor to ask to be removed from their mailing lists.  I hope it pays off  with a lighter in-box and mailbox, which is great for my 'simple living' lifestyle and for the environment.

2.  I use online browsing/shopping as a distraction A LOT.  Paying attention to spending, along with my weekly intention to stay focused on the task at hand, has helped me realize how often I surf when I am feeling overwhelmed or tired or just plain bored.  It's a bad habit, one that can result in rather random impulse spending and considerable time wasted,  and it's one I'm happy to be working towards breaking.  Now, if I can just break that nasty Pinterest habit...

3.  My cooking repertoire needs some serious help.  I am prepared when it comes to yummy "having-guests-over-for-dinner" meals, and I'm great with desserts and treats, but I struggle with simple, quick, kid friendly meals that I can make on a normal, busy day.   I often resort to eating out when I'm feeling tight on time or too tired to cook a big meal, and that is something I really want to change.

So yeah...one week down, a few more to go in the No Spend Month.   It hasn't felt like much of a challenge yet, but I expect that feeling may creep up on me in the weeks ahead.  I guess we'll see how it goes.

Riley's beat-up shoes: Sunday Gratitude and Intentions

These are Riley's shoes.
She's had countless pair like these: Usually black.  Mary jane style (her favorite.)  Usually with velcro closures. 
Always with well worn spots on the toes .


It used to frustrate me to no end how hard she is on her shoes.  It felt like, no matter what I said, no matter the situation, the minute the Girl got new shoes, they had scuffs all over and the toes were pretty much destroyed.   Case in point- these shoes in the picture are only about a week and a half old.

I really let this bother me for a while.  I tried everything I could think of to make her be more careful, to get her to be a little more cautious and to consider her footwear when she was playing.
Then I really watched her play.   I watched her kick and crawl and leap and roll around on the floor.  I watched her run and jump and crash and fall.  It became immediately apparent why her shoes were always so beat up - she played HARD, and her shoes took the brunt of her play.   But her face during this crazy, exuberant play is what i couldn't get over - how her eyes lit up with the thrill of discovery, and her gigantic smile appeared when she nailed a particularly intense landing.  There was no question in my mind that she wasn't thinking about her shoes.  She was thinking about how she could play harder, run faster, climb higher and push her own limits. 

So I got over myself.
She can wear less-than-perfect shoes, or I can buy new shoes.  This part of her childhood- the ability to play with such reckless abandon - this part only lasts for a limited time.   I want her to completely enjoy it and I want to completely enjoy it, without the burden of worrying about something as unimportant as shoes. 


As I've been thinking about what I'm grateful for tonight, I realized that this photo sums up neatly  many of those exact things.   

To be specific, I'm grateful for:
-The little girl whose feet wear these shoes.
-The patience and perspective I gain by being her mom.
-Her energy, her excitement, and her eagerness to explore her world and her willingness to let me be a part of this.
-The knowledge that I'm finally letting go of the idea of perfection and learning to embrace "good enough." It's a work in process, but I can see progress.  
- The resources we enjoy that allow me to not worry much about replacing her "beat-up before their time" shoes (I know that many families have a much tougher time meeting these basic needs.)

Wrecked shoes or not, our lives are really, really good in so many ways.  I have much to be grateful for.

 Next week's Intentions:
*Drink more water.  I'm usually pretty good about this, but lately I need to nudge myself along.  I'm hoping that setting this intention will help me return to a good habit.
*Get out and ride my bike at least twice this week.  It seems increasingly hard to fit this is, but there is nothing as good for my head and my body as a kick-ass bike ride.
*Continue to try to stay focused on the task at hand.  I noticed some improvement last week, but continuing to shine a light on this will help me move closer to where I want to be.


Looking forward to a new week- I always enjoy new beginnings.
Happy Sunday to you!

The second half of our New Jersey trip

The time was not about visiting the Jersey Shore, although we did spend a fun (but cold) day there.  

   It was not about funnel cakes, fun houses, games and prizes and matching sweatshirts. 

    

Or the chance to see, first hand, some of the damage caused by Hurricane Sandy's wrath. 

Although there was all of that.  

It was not about the chance to  "Behold New York City" (which is what Riley was yelling when I took the photo below. )

  

Although behold, we did. 

 It wasn't about the afternoon spent at the 'Empty Sky' memorial at Liberty State Park memorial. 

Although I really enjoyed that particular place, and to make it even more memorable,

 Riley lost her 2nd tooth there. 

 It wasn't about seeing the Statue of Liberty in Real Life 

(albeit from afar- we didn't make it out to Liberty Island.)

 

 Although the chance to see her, even distantly, has prompted much discussion about freedom, democracy, patriotism, and (interestingly enough) France, since then.

 

It wasn't about checking out some NYC landmarks, such as Times Square

seeing "Annie" on Broadway

walking through St. Patrick's Cathedral

   Although it was fun to see many of the places that we've always heard about. 

It wasn't about the chickens that lived at our friend's house,

 

or the new baby chick that Riley got to "adopt" (she named it Little Rebecca.)

 

  What it was about was spending time with one of my very best friends- someone who knows me from the ground up, who has been with me through thick and thin, and who has seen all of me-the good and the bad- and loves me anyway.   It was about being with someone who has made me laugh until I fell over, helped me think about things in a different light, and has even seen me 'ugly cry.'

 

   It was about spending time with her children, who are like her in so many ways, and letting my Girl become part of their family for a few days.  It was about the special kind of rest that comes when you are seen and heard and loved completely, without question, and without reserve.   

 We had so much fun spending a few days with the Righetti family - they are all energy and fun in human form.  Thanks, Cam and Frank and kiddos- we sure love you!

My May Challenge: Spending Diet

I dated a guy for a while who said that you could tell a person's priorities by where they spent their time and money (for the record, his priorities were skiing and rafting, not me or our relationship, but I digress...) I think he's absolutely right on this count.  If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you probably know that I tend to focus a lot of energy on evaluating my priorities, making sure that I'm walking my talk, so to speak.  Money is one area that I haven't written about a lot, but it's something that I think about often.  I want to be intentional about where and how I spend, and I want my priorities to be reflected in how I manage my money. 

This is from a couple of years ago...Riley tried to 'grow' money in a flowerpot.  Alas, it didn't work.

 I've thought about having a no-spend month for a while, but it always seemed like there was some reason not to:  the holidays were coming, or we were going on vacation, or I knew that I would need new running shoes, or someone's birthday or wedding was during that month.  Something always seemed to come up.  When I was toying with it again for the month of May, I realized that noone is making me do this, so I could set my own rules.  I know...super perceptive of me.

Tomorrow starts the no-spend month, with the following as rules guidelines. 
What I will spend on:
1.  The bills will be paid.  Of course.  
2.  Basic expenses are allowed.  I'm counting food, gas, cleaning products, pet expenses, any medication we might need (it's allergy season, after all) and any necessary toiletries we can't live without for a month. I already have a budget for all of these things, so I'll just stick with it.
3.  Our planned trip to Denver for Mother's Day weekend.  I have a budget for this trip already, so I'll stick with that, too. 
4. Lunch dates and happy hour with my friends is the equivalent of therapy for me and important to my mental health, so I'm budgeting a small amount for this.  I'm considering it a necessary medical expense.  :)
5.  I do have some gifts I have yet to purchase, so I'll be buying those somewhere along the way.  


What I'm not spending money on:
Anything else- clothes, toys, movies, dinners out, craft supplies, entertainment, etc.- is a no-go for the next month. 

When Riley heard about this plan, her response was a stricken question.  "Mama, are we poor now?" This is what convinced me I was on the right track.  Despite the fact that I am nowhere near wealthy, I am financially comfortable with good money management skills, and as such, Riley has lived a pretty full life. We travel a lot, we do a lot of fun things, she's involved in some spendy activities, and between me and her Dad, she pretty much gets what she wants in the toys/clothes/stuff department.  While I don't want her to go without, I do want her to appreciate what she has and to understand the concept of wants versus needs.  I think that her watching me give up extraneous spending for a month, and seeing that we can still live a full, fun-filled  life, is a great way for her to increase her understanding of these concepts and to help gain the perspective that rich vs. poor has very little to do with money. 

So what do I expect to get out of this exercise?
-First, I expect to stop using online shopping/browsing as a distraction or entertainment, and thus have more time  to devote to the various half-finished sewing, craft, home improvement, organization, etc. projects I have laying around here.  I didn't realize how much I did this until I charted myself for a week.  It was eye-opening.
-Second, I am excited to focus on the many local activities and events that are always happening here in SLC, and to take advantage of the parks, libraries, gardens, museums and events that are free or that are part of our (already purchased) membership.
-Third, I hope know our time off will begin to center more on things we want to do (like working out, relaxing together, fun outdoor activities, and diving into those aforementioned projects) rather than running a million errands to pick something up, return something that didn't fit, grab that one thing I heard about, etc.
-Finally, although this month is less about money and more about living intentionally, I am happy about the extra cash I'll be able to stash away.  April was an expensive month, containing a week long vacation, unexpected dental work, major car repairs and pricey veterinarian care, so the additional funds heading to my bank account are not unwelcome.

Anyone want to join me on this little adventure?  Remember you can make your own rules, so you can tailor it to fit your needs.  Anyone?  Anyone....?

So tomorrow is May.  First day of the challenge.   
Bring it.