Everything I learned about priorities, I learned from my ex-boyfriend

Ok, the title of this post is a slight exaggeration (well, a pretty big one, actually). First of all, I wouldn't call this person an "ex-boyfriend" but rather "a guy I used to date, off and on, for a while". Second, he certainly didn't teach me everything i know about priorities, but he certainly reinforced a few things for me.

I'll refer to this guy "Barnes & Noble" because I met him at- you guessed it- Barnes & Noble. He was picking out books for his nephew, I was buying books for Riley. He asked for my opinion and then for my phone number. Great guy, lots of fun, but ultimately not right for me in the long run.

B&N had made a lot of money in the dot-com world and got out of it before it collapsed. He invested wisely and was pretty much able to retire at 37 in Park City. He often told people that his life was better than their vacation, and to a lot of people, this was true. When he worked, it was at one of his investments businesses (which pretty much ran themselves) and I never, ever saw him work more than a couple of hours at a time. He was a sponsored extreme skiier, so I guess the hours he spent on the mountain could be considered work, but ultimately he just loved to ski. He lived for it. It was his top priority and that is what he spent the majority of his time and money on. And when he wasn't skiing, he was doing something in the pursuit of improving his time on the skis-he ran, he biked, he climbed, but only because they would keep him fit on the off season. He definitely put his money where his mouth was in terms of his theory on priorities. He lived modestly in a small condo, drove an old truck and hadn't been home to see his family in the south for several years, all in the name of devoting more time and money to his priority, skiing.

Can you see why we wouldn't work out, long term? Besides some glaring lifestyle differences, a family and children weren't on his priority list - and they definitely are on mine. Still, I often think about him and what I learned by watching him worship at the alter of powderdays when I am thinking about priorities.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about priorities.

Every so often, we are handed an opportunity to re-evaluate our lives, and the chance to make sure our hearts and heads are lining up, that we are being true to what we believe and who we want to be. Every so often, we find that we have the space to make changes, to do some things differently. This is a huge gift and one I have learned not to waste.

I'm in such a re-evaluation phase right now. I've been examining all areas of my life, looking at where I am at physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I've spent a lot of time determining what my priorities are right now (knowing that priorities will shift and change because life will shift and change) and seeing where I need to make some adjustments so that my head, heart, time and money are all telling the same story.

I can pretty much sum up my priorities in a short, brief sentence: my top two priorities are to be happy and healthy and to give Riley what she needs to be happy and healthy. Yes, this is a very broad sentence, but health and happiness are very broad ideas. They are dynamic and organic and the subtlties and nuances are what make happiness and health so rich and so wonderful. They are different for every person. I have specific ideas on what this means for her and what this means for me, but the details are unimportant.

I'm pleased with the way most things are lining up, with the way I am choosing to spend my resources. Of course there is still some work to do, because there is always work to do (If I didn't view my life as a constant source of self-improvement projects, I'd be so bored) but I am doing ok with what I have been given. It feels good to be able to say that and to be proud of the life I've created for us.

I'm healthy. I'm happy. Riley is healthy. Riley is happy. We have a great life with lots of friends and family who love us and support us. My priorities are showing up in our lives.

I guess I'm proof positive that B&N's theory has some merit.


My number one priority - September 2009