A Gratitude List

It's been a hell of a week.

Not a bad week, just a crazy-busy one, crammed with obligations and committments.

I also had to make a quick trip to Denver for work meetings, adding substantially to the chaos.

It is weeks like these that remind me to be grateful for the many good things I have going on, because without them, I'd get bogged down in the minutiae of a complicated, busy life. And so...a gratitude list.

Right now, I am grateful for:

**an evening spent snuggled up with my kiddo, reading books and making up silly stories.

**board meetings with myself on my rooftop deck.
**a fulfilling, mind stimulating, challenging career.

**an amazing support network.

**knowing my girl was well cared for and loved while I was out of town. (This is so critical for me to be able to do my job to the best of my abilities.)

**seeing the payoffs of all the work and time I spent streamlining both my time and possessions. It's so nice not to be owned by stuff.

**parenting a creative little soul - check out her 'mermaid tail' (both feet stuffed in one of my fins and legs wrapped in a bath towel). She keeps things so entertaining around here.
**a long, hot bath after a day of airport delays.

**running the trails around my home (have I mentioned how much I love trail running?) These are some iPhone photos I took on a recent run.

(is there any question about why I love trail running so much?)

**new friends and new projects.

**2.5 hour phone conversations with my Dad. That man just. gets. me.

**recognizing that it's time to come back to center and get back to the basics.

52 Photos project *Found on the Ground*

Did you know I collect heart shape rocks? I do.

I do it because I believe they are a physical reminder of all the love and goodness that's out there for me. I find them all over the place, almost everywhere I go one shows up for me. And when I really need to this sort of reminder, when I need hard evidence of this type of love, that's when I tend to find the ones that end up being a special favorite in my collection.

The rock shown above was no exception. I found this rock on the shore in Nag's Head, North Carolina last fall. You can read about how I found this rock here, and to this day, it's one of my favorites. I often carry it in my pocket for that extra little bit of good energy, and I find comfort in it's weight and textures.

This week's photo prompt was "found on the ground" and while I was on the lookout for something to photograph for the theme, my mind kept going back to this photo and this rock and the very special experiences associated with it. It's perfect for this week's prompt. When I really needed it, I found love on the ground.

May 12 of 12 - iPhone Edition

On mornings that I don't have Riley and am working in my downtown office, I often walk to work. I was almost ready to walk into my building when my iPhone reminded me that it was the 12th. It was too late to walk back home and get my camera, so I decided to just capture the day with my iPhone instead.

The view from my downtown desk. I love being able to watch the city and see the Capitol Building when I'm working. It's especially fun on a bright, sunny day.

Ariel view of my desk, mid-project.

This was left on my desk when I stepped away for a few minutes. Still not sure who put it there, but it was a fun little surprise (I love swedish fish.)

The construction near my building. As they say, downtown SLC is rising.

I had lunch at Martine with some friends - yummy food and great company.

Since I had walked to work that morning, I walked home in the afternoon to get my car before I picked up Riley from school. I really enjoyed the warm weather, the dappled sunshine and the blossoms.
I am convinced I live in the most beautiful part of SLC.

Riley was being camera-shy at dinner. The part you can't see, because she ate them already,
is a large serving of peas. The Girl is eating her veggies! Yay!

Riley knocked herself in the eye with her doorknob, and ended up with a scrape.
It's turning black and blue today - her first black eye.
I'm sure there are more where that came from.

On an evening walk with the Girl and G. Riley is enthralled by the ants.

Lilacs are my favorite spring time flower - they remind me of my grandma.
Me and the bugness on our walk. Yeah - we look a bit alike. :)

Watching G watch the sunset. It was a beautiful evening.

*Today's Randomness*

Self Portrait in Sam Weller's Window (I love Sam Weller's)

*I expected to be working late this evening, but a deadline I was working under was extended very unexpectedly, so now I find myself with a free evening. Yay!
*I really should spend that free evening at the grocery store. Boo!
*I am going to send my daughter to see my sister more often. She came home from California willing to eat all sorts of things she wouldn't touch before, including PB&J's, peas, noodles, and pears. This has made my life exponentially easier. Thanks, Beck!
*I love the public library. I especially love that there is a branch within walking distance of my home. And I love the online request option, so I can have the books I want to read sent there.
*lf you have shin splints, you should call Jenica, because she'll fix you right up with her dirty-hippy/witchy magic ways.
*I am on the hunt for some new babysitters for Riley (I desperately need some consistent and reliable mama time) and some great options are starting to show up.
*I'm not sure how i lived without my iPhone. Seriously - just having my calendars and contacts all sync in one place has made my life so much easier. (G-i know, i know...you told me so.)
*I'm really considering Lasik surgery. I've put it off because I'd really like to have more children and my eyes changed drastically after having Riley, so waiting seemed logical. The thing is, more kids aren't really an option given my current relationship status, and I still put in contacts every morning. I made an appointment to investigate my options.
*It's that time of year - the time when I start jonesing to buy a new bicycle. I'm trying to curb the desire but if I'm going to do that, I really need to stay away from my favorite bike shops because the new Specialized Mtn bikes are soooooo pretty.
*It's almost time for the farmer's market!
*I've used an awful lot of exclamation points in this post.

How motherhood looks to me

How motherhood looks today

I did not expect my turn at motherhood to look like it does. First, I imagined raising a large, chaotic family, complete with dogs and pranks and soccer games, then I imagined growing old with no children at all. I didn't expect to be a single mother. I didn't expect to only have one child. I'm not complaining, not at all, because this version of motherhood is very good to me. It's full of a loving, supportive family who backs me up 100% and so many friends who provide all the light and love I could ask for. I make a good living and I'm able to find a way to do the things I want to do and be who I want to be. I get some time for myself and really enjoy the time I have with my kiddo. This version of motherhood might not be the easiest path, but I cherish the lessons learned, the love shared and the strength gained. No, I can't complain about how my life looks. And being a mother is definitely the best thing about it.

It still surprises me how tender I feel about being a mother. It still catches me off guard when my emotions well to the surface easily and with little notice. It still amazes me when I remember feeling her shift and move inside of me, knowing that I was carrying a little girl who would someday grow up and carry her own child. It still takes my breath away when I see how clearly she is her own person, and yet how like me she is. I still feel like she is my heart walking around outside of my body. I don't expect that this awe will ever really go away.

Becoming a mother changed me in ways that are hard to describe. I never imagined that one tiny child would hold the key to opening a well of love so deep, so strong, so intense that it would so completely change how my life looked and who I was. I never imagined it, and yet I would not do one single thing differently. I'm proud of who she is becoming and I'm proud that some of her is the product of who I am. I'm proud of who I am, and of the qualities I've adopted and strengthened in this phase of my life. I'm so grateful to live this life, to have this child, to be this mother. On this day, when we celebrate the mother's in our lives, I'm so thankful that this is how motherhood looks to me. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy Mother's Day!

52 photos project *Colors*

This week's prompt was "colors". I shot a bunch of different photos with this in mind, but I keep going back to this one, which I took in a candy shot in SFO Terminal 2. My flight was delayed by a couple of hours, but I made good use of the time by working on shooting on manual and getting rich, true colors by manipulating the f-stop and shutter speeds.

Plus, who doesn't want pictures of gigantic lollipops? It was a cute little store.


IF you want to play along with the 52 photos project, go here for the details and to post your photos.

Images from Hawai'i

Usually, when I travel somewhere, especially somewhere new and so beautiful, I keep my camera glued to me, shooting photos of anything and everything I do, eat, see, etc.

This time around, I put my camera away quite a bit and just enjoyed myself. It was a good decision.

Instead of worrying about how I was going to capture the sand and the sea, I just reveled in how both felt against my skin.
Instead of thinking about how the dreamy sunlight would translate on my photos, I just let it warm my shoulders.
Instead of trying to document every second of every experience, I just enjoyed the experiences themselves and let the memories make their own impression on my heart.

Still, I'll share with you some of my favorites images from the limited collection I gathered.

Sunrise on the water.

Demelza and Craig - I'm so glad I was able to witness this amazing relationship. To say they were meant for each other doesn't even cover it.

The ocean as it greeted me on the first day there.

Kailua Bay at Sunrise.

I can't remember the name of this hike, but I'll never forget the beauty I found there.

At the Pearl Harbor Memorial - The U.S.S. Missouri is in the background.

Sunset over the Polynesian Cultural Center.

Plumeria blossoms - these were everywhere and they smell divine.

Where my flip-flops lived while I wrote in my journal.

First day there, happy to be on vacation in such an amazing place.

You know I love me a lighthouse, and this one was particularly gorgeous.

Standing in the Light
(this is Demelza, and this is one of my favorite photos of the whole trip.)

It was a sensational time.
I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to experience Hawai'i at this time, with these people, in this way.
It was just what I needed.