The second half of our New Jersey trip

The time was not about visiting the Jersey Shore, although we did spend a fun (but cold) day there.  

   It was not about funnel cakes, fun houses, games and prizes and matching sweatshirts. 

    

Or the chance to see, first hand, some of the damage caused by Hurricane Sandy's wrath. 

Although there was all of that.  

It was not about the chance to  "Behold New York City" (which is what Riley was yelling when I took the photo below. )

  

Although behold, we did. 

 It wasn't about the afternoon spent at the 'Empty Sky' memorial at Liberty State Park memorial. 

Although I really enjoyed that particular place, and to make it even more memorable,

 Riley lost her 2nd tooth there. 

 It wasn't about seeing the Statue of Liberty in Real Life 

(albeit from afar- we didn't make it out to Liberty Island.)

 

 Although the chance to see her, even distantly, has prompted much discussion about freedom, democracy, patriotism, and (interestingly enough) France, since then.

 

It wasn't about checking out some NYC landmarks, such as Times Square

seeing "Annie" on Broadway

walking through St. Patrick's Cathedral

   Although it was fun to see many of the places that we've always heard about. 

It wasn't about the chickens that lived at our friend's house,

 

or the new baby chick that Riley got to "adopt" (she named it Little Rebecca.)

 

  What it was about was spending time with one of my very best friends- someone who knows me from the ground up, who has been with me through thick and thin, and who has seen all of me-the good and the bad- and loves me anyway.   It was about being with someone who has made me laugh until I fell over, helped me think about things in a different light, and has even seen me 'ugly cry.'

 

   It was about spending time with her children, who are like her in so many ways, and letting my Girl become part of their family for a few days.  It was about the special kind of rest that comes when you are seen and heard and loved completely, without question, and without reserve.   

 We had so much fun spending a few days with the Righetti family - they are all energy and fun in human form.  Thanks, Cam and Frank and kiddos- we sure love you!

My May Challenge: Spending Diet

I dated a guy for a while who said that you could tell a person's priorities by where they spent their time and money (for the record, his priorities were skiing and rafting, not me or our relationship, but I digress...) I think he's absolutely right on this count.  If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you probably know that I tend to focus a lot of energy on evaluating my priorities, making sure that I'm walking my talk, so to speak.  Money is one area that I haven't written about a lot, but it's something that I think about often.  I want to be intentional about where and how I spend, and I want my priorities to be reflected in how I manage my money. 

This is from a couple of years ago...Riley tried to 'grow' money in a flowerpot.  Alas, it didn't work.

 I've thought about having a no-spend month for a while, but it always seemed like there was some reason not to:  the holidays were coming, or we were going on vacation, or I knew that I would need new running shoes, or someone's birthday or wedding was during that month.  Something always seemed to come up.  When I was toying with it again for the month of May, I realized that noone is making me do this, so I could set my own rules.  I know...super perceptive of me.

Tomorrow starts the no-spend month, with the following as rules guidelines. 
What I will spend on:
1.  The bills will be paid.  Of course.  
2.  Basic expenses are allowed.  I'm counting food, gas, cleaning products, pet expenses, any medication we might need (it's allergy season, after all) and any necessary toiletries we can't live without for a month. I already have a budget for all of these things, so I'll just stick with it.
3.  Our planned trip to Denver for Mother's Day weekend.  I have a budget for this trip already, so I'll stick with that, too. 
4. Lunch dates and happy hour with my friends is the equivalent of therapy for me and important to my mental health, so I'm budgeting a small amount for this.  I'm considering it a necessary medical expense.  :)
5.  I do have some gifts I have yet to purchase, so I'll be buying those somewhere along the way.  


What I'm not spending money on:
Anything else- clothes, toys, movies, dinners out, craft supplies, entertainment, etc.- is a no-go for the next month. 

When Riley heard about this plan, her response was a stricken question.  "Mama, are we poor now?" This is what convinced me I was on the right track.  Despite the fact that I am nowhere near wealthy, I am financially comfortable with good money management skills, and as such, Riley has lived a pretty full life. We travel a lot, we do a lot of fun things, she's involved in some spendy activities, and between me and her Dad, she pretty much gets what she wants in the toys/clothes/stuff department.  While I don't want her to go without, I do want her to appreciate what she has and to understand the concept of wants versus needs.  I think that her watching me give up extraneous spending for a month, and seeing that we can still live a full, fun-filled  life, is a great way for her to increase her understanding of these concepts and to help gain the perspective that rich vs. poor has very little to do with money. 

So what do I expect to get out of this exercise?
-First, I expect to stop using online shopping/browsing as a distraction or entertainment, and thus have more time  to devote to the various half-finished sewing, craft, home improvement, organization, etc. projects I have laying around here.  I didn't realize how much I did this until I charted myself for a week.  It was eye-opening.
-Second, I am excited to focus on the many local activities and events that are always happening here in SLC, and to take advantage of the parks, libraries, gardens, museums and events that are free or that are part of our (already purchased) membership.
-Third, I hope know our time off will begin to center more on things we want to do (like working out, relaxing together, fun outdoor activities, and diving into those aforementioned projects) rather than running a million errands to pick something up, return something that didn't fit, grab that one thing I heard about, etc.
-Finally, although this month is less about money and more about living intentionally, I am happy about the extra cash I'll be able to stash away.  April was an expensive month, containing a week long vacation, unexpected dental work, major car repairs and pricey veterinarian care, so the additional funds heading to my bank account are not unwelcome.

Anyone want to join me on this little adventure?  Remember you can make your own rules, so you can tailor it to fit your needs.  Anyone?  Anyone....?

So tomorrow is May.  First day of the challenge.   
Bring it.

Sunday Gratitude and Intentions PLUS 52photos week #1

Being very conscious of those things for which I am grateful is an important practice for me.  It helps  me stay present and grounded and helps shift my focus from frustration or lack to optimism and contentment.   It's powerful, it's very real, and it's something I try to do daily.

I used to blog about these things on Friday as a way to close out the work week, but lately I've noticed that Sunday seems to be the day that I reflect back on the week behind me, and the time I also set intentions for the week ahead.  I already do this privately, but I think I'll begin bringing it here, as well.
 
Gratitude
*I've been a bit confused lately about where and how to focus my professional efforts.  Given that my career is necessary, both as an important part of my mental and emotional makeup, as well as the means to support myself and my daughter, I get rather unsettled when this area of my life feels out of whack.  In the last few days, however, some glitches worked themselves out and I found some clarity on a few other issues.  I'm feeling much better about where things are now. 

*I've had my dog, Harley, for 11 years.  He is my first baby, my sweet, mellow companion, and a constant source of unconditional love.  He is about 14 years old now, elderly in dog years, and his health is depleting.  His hearing is almost gone, he has a benign heart murmur which will eventually lead to congestive heart failure and recently, he developed an eye lesion.  This week has seen us at the vet several times for treatment of his eye- a minor procedure but still very hard for me to handle (read: i sat in my vet's office and cried for an hour.  twice.)  This experience made the fact that he's not going to be around forever very, very real  but opening up to a few people about how hard this is for me has brought so much love and support.  That love and support and the knowledge that I have people to be there for me when some hard choices need to be made eases the heartache.    (Also, for those who are wondering, his eye is much better than expected.  Yay!)

Harley, at the vet on Tuesday, April 23

*Riley and I spent the weekend in Idaho visiting my family.  We hadn't been there in a while and it's always a good time for both of us.  The added bonus for me, though, is that I sleep better at my Dad's house than I do anywhere else on earth.  I don't know why this is, but after a few rough weeks with lots on my mind and too little sleep, I really needed those hours of deep, restoring sleep.  Although I could use another few days of that level of rest, I got enough to feel rested and ready to start another week.

*Oh, yeah...did I mention... it's Spring!  It's Spring!  IT'S SPRING!  Warmer weather!  Bike season begins!  Flowers!  Evening walks!  I am so ready and grateful for this season!

One of many photos I took wandering around my neighborhood this week.  I love Spring!

Intentions:
Moving into next week, I am setting the intentions to:
*Be mindful of those things I know help me stay balanced:  clean, healthy food, plenty of exercise and a tidy, organized home.  
*Stay focused on the task at hand.  I've picked up a tendency of floating between several projects at once, meaning I get a bunch of things halfway done.  I find this method distracting and unsatisfying, so I'm working hard to break this habit.
*Carry a 'real' camera with me more often.  My iPhone is such a handy way to capture life, but I find that photos I take with my Cannon or even my toy film cameras are more satisfying; they are usually visually superior and it gives me a chance to work on my technical photography skills.  Plus, having my 'real' camera shifts me into a more creative mindset-which is never a bad thing. 

So now I'm wondering -
What are you grateful for this week?
What intentions are you setting for the week ahead?


52 Photos project:
I'm playing along with Bella's 52 Photos Project, and this is week's prompt was "conversation."  Luckily, I took a photo of a my sweet 15 year old niece right before her shift started at work.  Having a chance to catch up with her, even for just a few minutes, was a highlight of my day. 

 

The Real Karmic Godmother and Soul Sista of New Jersey

A couple of weeks ago, Riley and I were lucky enough to be able to travel to New Jersey and visit some friends over Spring Break.  We stayed for the first few days with our dear friends, Amy and Maya, and Amy's super adorable boys, Evan (14) and Charlie (12). 

Amy and I met our first year at Squam Art Workshop.  I instantly loved her brassy attitude and penchant for fun, and I was excited to stay in touch with her.  We  have become closer with each passing year, usually seeing each other in the fall for Squam or Squam by the Sea.  She's been a constant cheerleader for me in so many ways, and has provided a listening ear and wise words through some difficult phases.  A few years ago, I met Maya while she was in SLC for her Tour de Word project, during which time she taught a poetry workshop in my home and stayed a night with us. We didn't get to spend a lot of time with her then, but I really liked her and was so enchanted with her energy and presence.

So Maya had met Riley briefly, but Riley and Amy had yet to meet.   I knew that the combination of people and personalities was going to be, well...really good.

And oh, it was! 

Amy and Riley - outside of the museum of natural history

painting rocks

The time we spent with Amy and Maya was just what we needed- low-key, creative, and simply full of "feel-goodness."  There were trips to the Butterfly Exhibit at the Museum of Natural History, relaxing hikes in the New Jersey woods, and even a 6th grade talent show, featuring Charlie and his amazing dancing skills (seriously - this kid has the moves!)  Plus there was a lot of hanging out on the most. comfortable. couch. in. the. entire. world.  Lots of typing on the typewriter, some rock painting, lazy mornings and a few superhero capes thrown in for good measures. 

butterfly exhibit at the Museum of Natural History

Riley loved this subway mosaic butterfly

Besides the Museum of Natural History and Central Park, we made a special trip to the Plaza Hotel, where Eloise lives.  Amy sent Riley an Eloise book a few years ago and this started an obsession with all things Pink, Plaza and Eloise.  So getting to be there with Amy was a highlight of Riley's trip.  I will also say that Amy taught Riley to say "But I want an Oompa Loompa NOW!" in an annoying, whiny voice, which Riley thinks is hysterically funny.  And I will be paying Amy back soundly for that one day - one day soon... 

Plaza door handles

Amy and Riley and Eloise

Riley at the Plaza 

We had planned to go into the city one more time with them  and experience "Write on the Line," but thanks to a little girl who didn't feel so well, that plan had to be altered.  I was disappointed, but I guess that just means I need to head back to see them again soon!

Riley said her favorite part of our time in Nutley, NJ was seeing Eloise's hotel, riding the subway and playing tricks on Charlie (we short sheeted his bed.  She thought this was the best thing ever.)  My favorite part was spending time with these amazing women who I am so incredibly grateful to count as friends.

After returning home, Riley gave a "show and tell" about our trip for her class, during which she referred to Amy as her "Karmic Godmother."  I was thrilled to hear Riley pick up on that phrase, which is what I have called Amy for a while.  And I was even more delighted when she described Maya as her "Soul Sista."  I don't know where she got that, but it works.   I can't imagine women I'd rather have be identified as my daughter's "Karmic Godmother" and "Soul Sista" than Amy and Maya.

Thanks, Amy and Maya (and Evan and Charlie) for letting us spend time in your world for a few days!  We loved everything about it!

Riley and Maya - strong case of hero worship happening here.

Jumping back in

Spring!  Spring! It's Spring!

I've been trying to figure out a graceful way to ease myself back into the blogging habit, after an unintentional, but rather long blog break.  I've debated whether I should just let this particular blog go, if I should start a completely new one, or whether I should just be done with the blog thing altogether.

Yet when it comes right down to it, I love this little corner of the blogosphere.   I love having a place to say what I want to say, to reach out and share what's going on in my heart and head, to publicly enjoy my daughter's antics, and to talk about what's happening in our world.  This space has become a place where my friends and family across the world come to check in on me and Riley and I've been less than stellar at keeping it up to date.  I want to do better. I will do better.

So I'm jumping back in.  And in the spirit of spring and rebirth and renewal and pretty things everywhere, I'll be making some changes.  In the next few weeks, you can expect a little blog makeover, some new links and some other fun changes.  I'm excited.  I hope you are, too.

Not my 12of12 post. Not even a little bit.

I keep sitting down to edit and compile my pics for my 12of12 post, and I keep finding a million other things to do instead of that.  I'm not sure why- I love the 12of12, but perhaps it's going to be in quarterly installments instead of monthly for 2013.   Whatevs....it'll get done, right?

This photo was taken by Riley and she loves it and wanted me to put it on my blog (which she calls a ba-log.)  She's very into grabbing my phone and snapping random pics and I LOVE seeing how she sees the world.

But tonight, i felt like showing up here, so I'm just gonna word vomit some of the stuff that has been going on in my mind lately...a  combo "what's happening around here/what's I'm thinking now" post, if you will.   Because I love lists.  And updates.  And also strawberry frosted Poptarts, but that's entirely irrelevant.

1.  So, I'm taking the Girl back east this spring to meet someone who I believe will be her lifelong Karmic Role Model (seriously, these two are kindred spirits) - the other Amy - and to see one of my besties since birth, Cam.  I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am about this trip.  Travel?  Amazing women?  People who get me right down to my bones? Children I adore? A new corner of the world to explore?  Yes, Please!

2.  Do you guys have Spotify?  Do you love it?  I love it.  You should get it.  You'd love it, too. At least, you should try out the free month trial and see what it does for your life.  It made mine much more musically diverse, which is only a good thing.

3.  It's January in Salt Lake City, which means inversions and Sundance.  When possible, I avoid really large crowds and men's cologne overdoses, so Sundance is out.  And the inversion means red air quality, which means I can't play outside, so XC skiing/snowshoeing/winter hiking is out. Plus it's really cold (like 2 degrees this morning.  yeeesh.)  So what I'm saying here is that this is the time of year to catch up on Netflix, and "How I Met Your Mother" is my current time-waster.  It's hilarious.  I'm plowing through the seasons.

4.  I've been inspired by C. Jane to write my life stories similar to the way she wrote hers - and although I'm not posting them on my blog, it's been such a good way for me to step back and gain perspective about my life and the stories that make it up.  In some cases, it's validating and empowering - allowing me to really own the stories that are mine and to let go of those that aren't.  In other cases, it's been so healing - allowing me to offer forgiveness to myself and others and to acknowledge that, despite mistakes and trials that were largely of my own making,  I was always just doing the best I could and working with what I had.  I doubt that these life stories are anything I'll ever share publicly - I plan to let Riley read them someday, and maybe a future spouse (should I ever get another one of those) - but even if I'm the only person who ever reads these, that's enough. Writing them was enough.

5. Womanhood. Feminism. Body image.  Spirituality vs. religiosity. Grace.  Sexuality.  Self Acceptance vs. Perfectionism.  Compassion.  Ego. Activism.   All topics that have been on my mind lately.  Separately and together.   Singularly and plural.  A big mess of complex topics all taking up space in my brain.

6.  I think I am going to go back to school.  I have no idea what this will look like yet.   More coursework towards my sorta close PhD?  Graduate work in an entirely different area?   Just some courses to update my education and round out my CV?  Classes in a 'luxury' area, one that won't change my career, per se, but are more for personal interest?   I really have no idea, but the idea is firmly taken hold in my mind.   I think I am going to go back to school.

7.  I'm trying to drink more water.  And I've found that I really prefer to drink diet Mt. Dew.  This is no surprise to me (and to anyone who knows me), but I thought I'd write it here anyway.

Easing In

It's been more than a week since the various New Year's celebrations occurred, and I'm just barely finding my way back to my blog to ring it in.  Typically, I start the New Year off big- with resolutions and resolve, determined to start off strong and continue that way all 365 days - come hell or high water.  But I'm choosing to operate a little bit differently this year, easing in instead of jumping in, following my gut instincts about what this year will bring.