The Real Karmic Godmother and Soul Sista of New Jersey

A couple of weeks ago, Riley and I were lucky enough to be able to travel to New Jersey and visit some friends over Spring Break.  We stayed for the first few days with our dear friends, Amy and Maya, and Amy's super adorable boys, Evan (14) and Charlie (12). 

Amy and I met our first year at Squam Art Workshop.  I instantly loved her brassy attitude and penchant for fun, and I was excited to stay in touch with her.  We  have become closer with each passing year, usually seeing each other in the fall for Squam or Squam by the Sea.  She's been a constant cheerleader for me in so many ways, and has provided a listening ear and wise words through some difficult phases.  A few years ago, I met Maya while she was in SLC for her Tour de Word project, during which time she taught a poetry workshop in my home and stayed a night with us. We didn't get to spend a lot of time with her then, but I really liked her and was so enchanted with her energy and presence.

So Maya had met Riley briefly, but Riley and Amy had yet to meet.   I knew that the combination of people and personalities was going to be, well...really good.

And oh, it was! 

Amy and Riley - outside of the museum of natural history

painting rocks

The time we spent with Amy and Maya was just what we needed- low-key, creative, and simply full of "feel-goodness."  There were trips to the Butterfly Exhibit at the Museum of Natural History, relaxing hikes in the New Jersey woods, and even a 6th grade talent show, featuring Charlie and his amazing dancing skills (seriously - this kid has the moves!)  Plus there was a lot of hanging out on the most. comfortable. couch. in. the. entire. world.  Lots of typing on the typewriter, some rock painting, lazy mornings and a few superhero capes thrown in for good measures. 

butterfly exhibit at the Museum of Natural History

Riley loved this subway mosaic butterfly

Besides the Museum of Natural History and Central Park, we made a special trip to the Plaza Hotel, where Eloise lives.  Amy sent Riley an Eloise book a few years ago and this started an obsession with all things Pink, Plaza and Eloise.  So getting to be there with Amy was a highlight of Riley's trip.  I will also say that Amy taught Riley to say "But I want an Oompa Loompa NOW!" in an annoying, whiny voice, which Riley thinks is hysterically funny.  And I will be paying Amy back soundly for that one day - one day soon... 

Plaza door handles

Amy and Riley and Eloise

Riley at the Plaza 

We had planned to go into the city one more time with them  and experience "Write on the Line," but thanks to a little girl who didn't feel so well, that plan had to be altered.  I was disappointed, but I guess that just means I need to head back to see them again soon!

Riley said her favorite part of our time in Nutley, NJ was seeing Eloise's hotel, riding the subway and playing tricks on Charlie (we short sheeted his bed.  She thought this was the best thing ever.)  My favorite part was spending time with these amazing women who I am so incredibly grateful to count as friends.

After returning home, Riley gave a "show and tell" about our trip for her class, during which she referred to Amy as her "Karmic Godmother."  I was thrilled to hear Riley pick up on that phrase, which is what I have called Amy for a while.  And I was even more delighted when she described Maya as her "Soul Sista."  I don't know where she got that, but it works.   I can't imagine women I'd rather have be identified as my daughter's "Karmic Godmother" and "Soul Sista" than Amy and Maya.

Thanks, Amy and Maya (and Evan and Charlie) for letting us spend time in your world for a few days!  We loved everything about it!

Riley and Maya - strong case of hero worship happening here.

I have gorgeous friends. Please meet one of them.

When I was pregnant, I was not a glowing expectant mother. If I 'glowed' at all, it was the result of an ever-present fine sheen of sweat and vomit. Not glowy. No, not at all.

My friend, Brittany, however, is definitely one of the loveliest pregnant women I have ever seen. In a non-pregnant state, she is gorgeous. Pregnant...WOW!...amazingly beautiful.

She was kind enough to help me work on my photo skills one evening, and I got to capture some lovely maternity images. These are a few of my favorites.

(These are her husband's baby booties. I think it's so sweet that his mother kept them and that Brittany has them now for her baby. )

This baby is one lucky girl. She is much anticipated and much loved, and has such intelligent, cool parents. A lucky baby girl, indeed.

See? She's gorgeous, no?

Thanks, Britt, for letting me take these and for being so patient with the weeds and the grass and the bugs. :) I hope you like them. I learned a lot and had so much fun with you and baby D!

Grateful for my tribe

(Note: This post was supposed to go up yesterday, but apparently Blogger hates me. So you'll be getting two posts today.)

Having a tribe of women surround me (both physically and virtually) is a key element in living the best life I can. These women are my rocks, my mainstays, and I think of them as family.

They offer love, support and a safe place to land.
They listen to me, really hear me, and understand on a level that is straight from their hearts.
They push me to go further, go faster, and do my best, always encouraging me to push my limits to find what I have inside of me.
They laugh with me and often at me (it's ok, I do some pretty funny stuff).
They have stood with me in grief and held my hand in sorrow, then helped me pick up the pieces and move on.
They let me be exactly who I am, with all my strengths and my faults and my accomplishments and my mistakes, and they remind me that no matter what, I am enough.

My world is so much bigger, so much brighter, because of the friendships I have. For these women, for these relationships, for the moments of joy they bring to my life, I am grateful.

(I don't have pics of everyone I wanted to include here, but please know that there are many people who's photo *should* be here. I'm making it a goal to get photos of all my friends.)

The little things

Taken by G$ with her iPhone.

Today, I am grateful for the little things that make life so much sweeter:

*Having my kiddo home and listening to her sing in the bathtub.
*Vietnamese soup with one of my favorite people.
*The 24 hour flu bug only lasted about 12.
*Yoga pant, ponytails, and homemade pizza = Friday night.
*Creative evenings with my tribe and the nutty photostrips that emerge from them.
*A run/swim gym date planned for tomorrow morning.
*Phone calls from my friends who are scattered across the nation.
*A list of new books to read, courtesy of my blog readers (thanks for your comments and emails! I'm excited to get going on this list.)
*Zumba - so fun and such an energy boost!
*A clean house and laundry that is almost caught up.
*New music on my ipod (I love new finds, don't you?)
*Finally ordering photos for my photo collage.
*An unexpected package from my very sweet friend.

It's the simple things, right?

What little things are you grateful for?

From the "Feel Good File"

I have a special file on my computer where I keep things that make me feel especially good. It's my go-to place when I need a quick pick-me-up, a place to get a hit of what makes my life so wonderful. I dipped into this file today, and came up with this:


Dear Amy,

I've known you for a year. In some ways I feel like I've known you my whole life. In other ways, I feel like I learn something new about you everyday, and in that sense, our friendship feels so new. Not new, like I don't know you, just that it makes our friendship feel so fresh. You are one of the most dynamic people I know. No one should ever assume that they know what you're all about, all the way.
I think you're like the ocean. You're cool and beautiful and strong and powerful. You're constantly flowing with what comes your way. You make waves. You're not to be taken lightly.
For these reasons, and so many more, I love you entirely.
Love,
Me


This was a blog post that a very good friend of mine put up over a year ago. She's one of the few people I feel like I've known forever, and I love her more every single day that I know her. She's honest and smart and kind and bitchy and edgy and strong and wild and badass and perceptive and, well, quite simply...she's awesome. She's the friend who will go shopping with me for lipstick one minute and then challenge me to a full-out, fast and furious bicycle race the next.

Did I mention she's awesome?

I've said before that I collect good people and this girl...she's one of the best. I'm so grateful for her and for what she brings to my life. Love her. Completely.

October 12 of 12 (on the 13th)

This 12of12 is brought to you on the 13th, courtesy of dead camera batteries discovered on the morning of the 12th. Oh, well. Today (the 13th) was a fantastically fun day, so it was extra cool to document it.
(click to enlarge)
1. I'm doing 'The Artist's Way' with some friends. Here is a shot of the book and today's morning pages.
2. I can't explain why, but Riley slept in until 8:47 today. I had to wake her up to get her to preschool on time. I'm hoping for a repeat this weekend.
3. Riley and I are both obsessed with HoneyCrisp apples, like this one. They are HUGE, and we have to share one in order to finish.
4. One really fun part of the day was a bike ride up Emigration Canyon with some friends at lunch. This is a self portrait at the top. The fall colors were gorgeous and almost took my mind off my tired legs (...almost).
5. Candace, Brenna, Molly and Me = My girls (We were missing one - next time, Britt.)
6. Most days start off with a to-do list and a look over my day's schedule. Today was no exception.
7. Me and my friend James. I collect good people. They make me happy. You can tell by my face.
8. Riley's dress up outfit of the day. So much attitude in this little one. She calls these shoes her "sexy shoes." Oh, boy...I'm in for it.
9. I had a couple of my brothers and a couple of friends over for dinner tonight. Riley is madly in love with her Uncle Dan. And he played right along. Goofballs, both of them.
10. Lee brought amazing Mexican Chocolate Creme de Pots for dessert. Yummm-o!
11. A photo everyone complained about. I'm trying to figure out my new tripod.
12. I'm leaving some of the dishes for morning. It's all good.

It was a fun, busy, productive, fantastic day, filled with work, friends and family. Who cares if it's not the 12th?

On this monday evening

Tonight, I am...

*feeling very grateful and very protected and very pleased with how my life feels these days.
*reviewing my photos from a photo shoot with my brother's family. Want a little sneak peek?
(I shot this in manual - I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.)
*marinating in Liz Elayne's words; here. Powerful words, powerful emotion. I'm amazed and inspired by her bravery and grace.
*cleaning up after a weekend full of out of town fun and goodness. There is so much laundry - I swear it multiplies while I am at work.
*listening to some newly added music: Jack Johnson, Sara Barielles and a new to me but older Ray LaMontagne (my love affair with his voice continues....mmmmm....).
*deciding that having Riley skip her afternoon nap might be a good thing - she's out cold by 8:30, giving me some desperately needed "me time".
*treating myself to some new books from Amazon. It's been too long since I had a "to Amy, with Love from Amy" package arrive. (what are you reading these days?)
*missing my girlfriends and my sister. Some serious girl time is needed this week. All you local girlies take note-let's ride, let's run, let's eat, let's play, let's dance! Those of you who are far away - be warned...you're next!
*Enjoying the little things that brightened up my day - a text with a video of the twinners, a sweet, slightly goofy and fully adorable message from DMV, the dessert my neighbor just dropped by for me, a phone call from this woman.
*anticipating my phone date with my friend/therapist/life coach/personal psychic/all around wonderful friend, Stormy.
*Loving life. I gotta say, it's pretty great....pretty great, indeed.

Really good things

I've got some really good things going on around here. Thought I'd share....

**Another successful week in potty training. She's so proud of herself, and I'm so happy to see her reach this milestone. Life is one step simpler.

**A lunch date with a friend who just gets me. When I left, I felt lightened and heard and understood (and I think she felt the same). Thanks, afm.

**Managed to fit in a couple of runs, 2 swim workouts, a brick swim/bike workout, a couple of bike rides, and a little bit of yoga into a very full week. My training is feeling balanced again, and that feels really, really good.

**An opportunity to explore Portland came up, somewhat unexpectedly, and I jumped on it. I'm excited to satisfy a little bit of personal and professional curiosity and check out a city I don't know. And thanks to the generosity of a couple of great friends, I have a place to stay. Thanks, La Familia Staley. You guys rock - TO THE MAX!!

**A very late night/very early morning phone call from Eastern Europe that had me laughing, crying, and missing a good friend very much. Love you, NR. You better show up in Utah soon.

**My sister, who knows just what I need to hear, often before I know it, and who makes sure the right words are texted, said over the phone, or in my email inbox.

**Riley has been asking to go 'camping' and I was a bit hesitant to trek her out to the forest by myself, set up a tent, and indulge her. That just seemed like a recipe for disaster. Luckily, my Dad offered his camper, so this holiday weekend, we're 'roughing it' in his driveway. It will be so much fun for her and me!

**My friend's baby is home and doing well (she was born at 34 weeks and needed several days in the NICU), and my new niece is here and happy and healthy. I am so grateful for these new little ones in my life. Just thinking about them makes me smile.

There is so much to be happy about, so many things to be grateful for...Truly, I am b.l.e.s.s.e.d.

Gratitude Friday

Today, I am simply grateful that yesterday is over and that I woke up this morning with a different perspective, a renewed faith in the choices I am making, and vision that is no longer clouded by disappointment.

I am also grateful for these photostrips on my email and for the girlfriend who sent them to me.

**Randomness**

Me and my shadow

Just some random stuff that has been wandering through my head-space today:

*I have been playing classical music in the mornings, because I find it to be a soothing and non-assaulting way to wake up. The unexpected benefit is that it seems to help Riley stay a bit more calm and focused on getting out the door and on our way. Win-win.

*It's so nice to have a friend who shops online and forwards suggestions to you, especially one that knows what you need because she knows every item in your closet, and instinctively knows what will look good on you. And it's even nicer when you don't like to shop and don't have time for it.

*I've been enjoying experimenting with new, healthier ingredients in everyday cooking. Things like agave nectar, greek yogurt and different whole grains are easy to use and a better option than many of my usual, go-to ingredients.

*Riley spent the evening with some friends last night, and came home with feet that were filthy from playing outside.
When we were getting her ready for bed, I asked "What does it mean when you have such dirty feet?"
The answer I was looking for: "It means I need to wash them."
The answer I got: "It means I had FUN, Mama!"
I liked her answer much better.

*When one of your favorite people lives in Hawaii, it's pretty much criminal not to visit her there, right? I need to start looking for tickets.

*Mae West was right: Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

*I've been finding inspiration in the most unexpected places lately. I love it when the Universe hands out small gifts like this.

*A little bit of yoga is better than none at all.

*I CANNOT wait until Squam by the Sea in October. I'm dreaming of days on the beach, lighthouses, time with my girls....heaven.

*I want some brown cowboy boots....the more beat-up, the better.

Yes.

One of my favorite things - a magnet that Hannah made for me.


Yes. Yes, I have.

It's Pretty Damn Awesome, if I do say so.

Thanks, Hannah, for the reminder. :)

I get by (with a little help from my friends).

Me, Jenica, and Amy (aka G)
The past few weeks have not been easy on me. The reasons are still too tender and raw to lay out here yet, but suffice it to say that there have been many tears, some unexpected anger and many sleepless nights.
G and Hannah
Jenica and Me
I don't have the luxury of falling apart, or even of setting a couple of days aside to wander aimlessly through the heartache, so I consider myself incredibly blessed to have a close network of friends and family I can call on for support and love.

Hannah, leaving us behind on her new adventure
These three girls are the cornerstones of this network. They are the ones I've leaned on most the past little while. They are my reality checks, the voice on the other end of the line late at night, and the ones who put their own obligations aside to help me out when the need is urgent. They are the ones who send texts at just the right moment saying just the right things, the ones who accompany me on an errand I couldn't have done without someone there with me, and the ones who show up at my house, bearing pineapple, asparagus and chocolate on an evening we all needed some togetherness.

Me and G
These photos were taken on a recent evening when we all got together to spend some quality time before one of us leaves for a new home in Austin. This was one of the most lovely days/nights of my life. These women get me. We understand each other and because we do, we feel validated, heard and loved. That love, that understanding and that sense of sisterhood has carried me since that evening. Truly, I get by with a little (or maybe a whole lot) of help from my friends.

G is for Gorgeous.

Yoga mama

Ethereal Hannah

Gratitude Friday

April 29th, Yep...snow.

It's been a rough week.

I had a few major deadlines at work, more than a few battles to fight on the homefront with a certain stubborn two year old, and several things that are currently weighing heavy on my mind and heart. Added to that, there were overflowing toilets (again, courtesy of that child of mine), workouts that didn't get completed, floors that still need some serious mop love, the never ending pile of laundry, and a list of "nice to-do" that wasn't even considered a possibility. On top of everything else, I had a terrible dream that was so intense, and so eye-opening, that it really threw me off for a couple of days.

Did I mention that it's been a rough week.

And so now it's Friday night, I'm sitting poised on the front edge of a new weekend, and truthfully, I'm exhausted just thinking about the things I need to do this weekend to catch up and go into next week balanced and ready. I'm trying to summon up the energy to get started on my weekend to-do list. Clearly, it's not going well.

Yep, it's been a rough week.

Still, when I really think back on the week, I'm struck by the many opportunities to stretch and grow this week presented. And how much I truly have to be grateful for:

*For my amazing, wonderful, stubborn, loud-mouthed, sweet, sassy, silly, smart, beautiful baby girl. Who knew that a mother could learn so much about fearless living and open-hearted loving from her child?

*For my awesome friends, who listen to me, offer advice, guidance and support whenever I need it, and go out of their way to help me when I need their special brand of assistance. My life is composed of some seriously wonderful, generous people.

*For my sister, who listens without criticizing and gets mad in my defense, even when I'm too tired to be upset. AND keeps me supplied in cute twinner pics that make my days. Love my frist.

*For my parents, who were both intuitive enough to get in touch when I really needed to hear from them. I don't believe in coincidences. They just knew.

* For a pretty great guy who is willing to stop by just to give me a hug on what turned out to be a long, draining night. How did I ever get so lucky?

*For taking the time to really get to know myself, so I can listen to gut feelings and act on them in the best way possible for me and for Riley.

*For learning to ask for what really matters.

*For the desire I have to move forward and progress. I've always been this way, and I'm coming to value it as one of my best traits.

* For new days and new beginnings and the hope for a better tomorrow.

So, yes, it's been a rough week and I'm glad it's over. But, as always, when I stop to look at what I have and what I am blessed with, I wouldn't change it for easier weeks or a less stressful schedule. I'm very, very blessed.

Make-or-Break Moments

Photos by the super fantastic Amy

I've had a few rough weeks, workout wise. Life has been busy to the point of being unreasonable and this craziness has translated into skipping workouts, shortening them, or changing them up for something else. Added to that, the past two weeks alone have contained a bout of food poisoning, a killer migraine, and a sprained ankle. On top of all this, I've had a lot of negative mind-chatter going on in relation to my workouts. Suffice it to say, it has not been the best few weeks for me, athletically speaking.

This morning, I got up and ran a 5K with Amy. The course was part of the Salt Lake City Marathon. It was not an overly challenging course - mostly flat, with a couple of gradual inclines, but nothing intimidating. I sprained my ankle on Tuesday, so I was still babying that along some, but I ran most of it, walked a few times so I didn't re-injure the ankle, and came in with a decent time. Not great. Not terrible. Solidly in the middle.

I don't usually worry much about my times when I compete in an event. I don't even look at them for a few days, because I'm out there entirely in pursuit of my own goals. I'm only in competition with myself and while I admire the elite runners (and cyclists, and triathletes), I do these things for my own personal growth, not to win my age division or get a podium finish. I am reasonable enough with my expectations to know that this isn't likely to happen and my motivation and lifestyle and talents are different than those who are able to accomplish these feats.

This time around, I texted a couple of people with my time, and received varying responses. We won't discuss in detail the person who responded with suggestions of needing to kick it up for a tri. Even though it was a joke, it stung. As usual, though, my girls came through. Amy kicked my trash on the course, so she was waiting for me at the finish line, which was a great way to end a race. Hannah, my kick ass athletic friend, responded with praise for the time, acknowledging the injuring, suggested rest and ice, and threw me a "Great Job! Congrats! Love YOU!" Ultimately, this is what I really needed. Yes, I do these things for me, but it's nice to be validated for accomplishments, even when they are minimal or just a step in the right direction. Maybe especially when they are minimal or just a step in the right direction because often, those are the make-or-break moments when you realize you can give up and call it a day, or you can push through and keep on. The praise, the kind words, the pat on the back - they might be just the thing to push you toward keeping on rather than hanging it up.

Now, I'm feeling a little bit better about losing my workout mojo for a few weeks and have a solid plan for getting back into the swing of things training-wise, have ideas on how to shake things up with a few different types of workouts, and am looking forward to the warmer weather and time on my bike. I'm ignoring the comments that hurt and focusing my energy on getting better, getting stronger, and feeling good. I made it through this make-or-break moment and I think I'm back on track. Thanks, girls. I needed that.

What's ringing true for me today

**While most of the people I know professionally are intelligent, kind, and generous people, there are a few who are simply mean, back-stabbing, untrustworthy and small minded. The only way to counter this is with honesty, carefully considered responses, and transparency. It's not worth the energy to worry about past that, and they usually back themselves into a corner and look foolish anyway.

**I feel much better, think more clearly, and am more myself when I get enough sleep. I need to make this a priority. It's an integral part of self-care and one I often ignore.

**The promise of a shipment from Zappos makes a rough week exponentially more bearable.

**You know how it feels when your friend just gets where you are coming from, when they understand everything that you left unsaid and when they can honestly say "I've been there and you are doing the right thing"? That feeling is truly a gift beyond measure. Thanks, LN.

**I need to let myself off the hook once in a while. Being goal oriented is one thing. Being hard on myself because I didn't meet a random self-imposed deadline is taking it a little too far.

**I will not apologize for being who I am, thinking how I think, and remaining true to myself. If someone doesn't like it, they can SUCK IT.

**I've been through enough to recognize when I need to listen to my intuition and carefully examine my actions, thoughts and priorities. I trust myself completely and I need to remember that there is a good reason that I do.

Randomness

*My cell phone drowned this morning. Resuscitation efforts failed. I am trying to be upset by it, but my first thought was "YES! No one can bug me!", which is a pretty telling statement. I think it might be time to break the crackberry addiction and downgrade to a phone that allows me to talk and text. That's really all I need and being the idea of being "unplugged" is really appealing to me.

*I had my girls over last night for girl talk, pedicures, yummy food and some serious soul filling. It's amazing how, even after a late night, I feel more energetic, refreshed and whole afterward.

*My first triathlon of the season is less than two month away. I'm excited to be back in the swing of things, but am a little bit (ok, a whole lot) nervous. I really need to step up my training to be where I want to be. Brick training, anyone?

*I'm jonesing for a new mountain bike the same way I was jonesing for a roadie at this time last year. I'm not sure why, but the mountains are calling to me this spring. I'm pretty amped about doing some trail running in the next few days, too. The muddier, the better, in my opinion and i can't wait to get out.

*My daughter is, quite possibly, the cutest little person on the planet. I mean, seriously...how can you not agree? This is her 'school' photo from her daycare. I have it on my desk at work because it makes me grin whenever I see it.


*I need a california/see my sister trip. Soon.

*I haven't written a poem every day in March, but pretty close. I'm feeling ok with pretty close.

*I love spring.

*I also love cupcakes.

March 12of12

1. Dropping Riley off at daycare.
2. These are my current favorite earrings. My friend Candace made them and they remind me of the ocean.
3. James' arm, James' beer.
4. Her smile just melts me.
5. View of my work computer, as seen through my shoes. Kicking back and catching up on some reading.
6. Lunch at Desert Edge - good times, good conversations. It gave me lots to think about.
7. Winding up a workday with the girls and the kids.
8. Parent committee meeting at Riley's daycare.
9. Calamari from Porcupine Grill.
10. The cutest little guy on the planet and Riley's boyfriend, Arlo.
11. The five books I spent some time in (Gives you an insight into what's on my mind):

• Thirst, by Mary Oliver
• The Happiness Project
• Writing Down to the Bones
• Step Families
• Total Immersion

12. Can't help but smile when in the presence of one of my favorite people, Candace.