Looking at 35

Taken on my 35th birthday. thanks, AmyG

I tend to get reflective this time of year.  Perhaps it's because I associate fall with the new school year and new beginnings, or maybe it's because my birthday falls in September.  Whatever it is, I've always been this way.

Except this year.

Whenever my birthday approaches, I usually make these elaborate lists of things I want to do in the next year - goals I want to accomplish, places I want to see, things I want to do.  I get really detailed and technical, outlining plans and defining milestones.

Except this year.

I started to really analyze why I was feeling this way - it's just so weird for me.  But even that took me way more inside my head than I wanted to be.

And so I decided to just go with it.

I'm truly happier than I have ever been.  Yes, there are struggles.  Yes, there are bad days and hard times.  Yes, I get frustrated and lonely and tired.  But underneath all of that, at the very center of myself, I feel a deep and abiding sense of goodness, of peace and of gratitude.  I feel more comfortable in my skin than I have ever been, and I feel more alive and whole than I have ever felt.

I'm finding that it's really a beautiful way to live.

So I have decided to just keep doing what I'm doing...living the life that makes me happy and gives me so many moments of joy and light.  To keep focusing on putting first things first and living a healthy and simple life.

It's working for me. 

Why mess with a good thing, right?

both of us on our birthday - have I mentioned that I love this girl?

My Grandfather

My grandfather has been a strong influence in my life, helping to shape many of the values I have come to possess as an adult . Through his example, I learned the value of hard work and the importance of family and faith. He taught me to speak out for what I believe, to always do my best, and that what was worth doing, was worth doing well. He is a patriot through and through, a career Air Force man who served all over the world, for several years in Vietnam. I'm very proud to have had the honor of serving in the same branch as he did(although my years of service were downright luxurious compared to his.) He is dedicated to his family and to serving the Lord, both of which he has done and continues to do in many varied ways. He is humble and he is honest, a self-made success. For all of these reasons, and for so many more, he is truly one of the greatest men I have ever known. I consider myself very lucky to have him for a grandfather.
We celebrated his 80th birthday this past weekend. It was so fun to enjoy time with members of my family that I don't often see and to celebrate the life of the man that we all love and cherish.
Happy 80th Birthday, Indy G. I sure do love you and am so grateful to have you in my life.

For more photos of his party, click here.

Gratitude Friday

I haven't posted a Gratitude Friday post for a while, and I feel like it's high time. I definitely have a lot to be grateful for.

**Given the recent news coming out of Libya, Egypt, and Tunisia, I can't help but feeling incredibly grateful to be an American and for the freedoms I enjoy. I'm so grateful to live in a country that, despite our fair share of problems, has a democratic system that allows me to make my voice heard without fear of retribution. It also makes me so thankful that I gave myself the experience of serving in the Air Force, because I think it gave me a different understanding and deeper appreciation of the liberties we have in America.

**It's funny how, when you begin to take bold steps towards creating the life you want, The Universe seems to line circumstances up to support you on that path. I've been experiencing this phenomenon lately. I can't explain it, but I'm so grateful for it, anyway.

**This past week, I re-read some of my journal entries from last year at this time. It's amazing to me how differently I felt about so many things and how much happier and how much more at peace I am with myself, my values and my lifestyle now. I also can't help but be grateful that some of the things I wanted to happen then DIDN'T pan out and how those experiences helped me to grow, strengthened my sense of self, and helped me to more fully define what I DO want and need in my life. I guess I could sum all this up by saying how grateful I am for seeing the "Big Picture".

**You know how sometimes someone shows up in your life, and you just know they were supposed to be there and that you've known them on some level all along? Well, I have one of those people, and it just so happens to be her birthday today.
I'm so thankful for the person who continually lifts me up, who is one of the most honest people I know, who is a great example of being an engaged and present mother and wife, who gives of herself more than is ever expected, who has walked with me through some of the hardest things I have ever done, who busts out with the most random comments ever, who is one of the most talented people I know, and who is the only person in my entire life with whom I have stood on both the Pacific and Atlantic coasts (that seems like a big deal for some reason). For my photo taking, hula-hooping, crepe-making, kick ass friend, G Love - I am so grateful!

Gratitude Friday (On Saturday, but whatever...)

This has been a whirlwind week, full of lots of fun and good times, and I'm just barely finding time to sit and write the gratitude Friday list I have been composing in my head since yesterday. It's funny, because the crazy-busy weeks are the ones where I feel like I need to write these the most. For some reason, the busy days seem to make me more aware of the great things I have going for me.

**Riley and I have been able to spend some time with four of my favorite people this week - my sister and her husband and my super-adorable twinner nephews. Oh, how I adore this family.
**I made a bit of a breakthrough on some work problems I've been mulling over/working through recently. There are still kinks to work out, but it's giving me a renewed sense of satisfaction and a lot to look forward to.

**I've felt a bit 'off' this summer, in terms of working towards the physical goals I have, but I seemed to have found my mojo again over the past couple of weeks. I love the feeling of being very tired, rather sore, but happy to be so because it means I have pushed past another barrier.

**To celebrate Riley's birthday, we had a little party for her in her daycare classroom. It is always so reassuring for me to see how loved and well-cared for she is there. I know that there are all kinds of horror stories about daycare out there, but I've been nothing but thrilled with her experiences. Being in daycare gives my daughter the social development that she needs at this age, and she learns so much from her peers and the dedicated teachers. I'm so grateful for everyone there.
**This past week, I had an experience that, while very difficult emotionally and mentally, turned out to be an opportunity to really stretch and grow. I walked away from it feeling stronger, more sure of myself and my decisions, and happy to be where I am at. These are the kinds of experiences that shape us into who we become, and while I am just fine to never repeat some of them, I'm truly grateful for them.

**And since it's September 4th, which is my personal self-proclaimed holiday (read about it here), I'll end this post by saying how grateful I am for how far I have come, personally, in the past three years, and for who I am today. For the amazing family and friends who are there for me, no matter what, and for everything they've taught me on my way. Today, instead of throwing a party or indulging in some shopping or spa-time, I have chosen instead to be very mindful of the blessings I have... For life and love, for family and friends, for challenges and celebrations, for health and healing...Today, (and everyday) I am grateful.

Celebrating three years of motherhood

Three years ago today, my life changed in the most miraculous way. I was given the best birthday gift anyone could ask for, the chance to be a mother to the sweetest, sassiest, sunniest little girl. She makes my life rich and wonderful in more ways than I can count. Sharing the same birthday reminds me to treasure her and cherish the opportunity I have to be her mother, that learning to love the way I love her is the most important gift I could be given. I can't imagine where I would be today without her.

To the one who makes me push further, run faster, do my best, laugh more, enjoy the hell out of life, work to make myself better each day, the one who teaches me patience, reminds me to be a good example, and loves me more than I deserve at times....happy birthday, Riley. I hope I can be everything you need and deserve in a mother.

I love you so, SO much.

xxox
Mama

Our Birthday Photos

We've made it a tradition to get photos done for our mutual birthday and each year, Carrie, our amazing and mega-talented friend has taken them for us. This year was no exception. She has a way with Riley and manages to get her to open up and be the funny, dynamic kid she is. I think Carrie sets up such fun and creative shoots. I'm so pleased with how they turned out this year. Take a look.

"Picnik Show"

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Another year...

I turned 33 today.

Damn, I feel great about that!