Five For Friday -- (truths)

completely irrelevant to this post, but another truth

This week has found me in my own head a lot; thinking about the consistencies and contradictions that I see right before me, and trying to sort the facts from the fiction in some of the stories I tell myself. I've noticed a few repetitive themes in many of the thoughts swirling around in my mind, and when I did some journaling exercises to distill the many thoughts and themes down into something manageable, five truths kept emerging, over and over again.

1. My life is chock-full of really amazing people. It's absolutely filled to the brim with friends and family who love me, who love Riley, who support me no matter what, who have my back in all circumstances. I am so very lucky to have these people in my life, and so blessed to be able to give back to them in some small way. These wonderful people make me the wealthiest of women in all the ways that matter.

2. I want to do the best job I can as a mother, and I believe that if I can raise my daughter to be accepting of others, to be tolerant of differences, to think about things critically, to trust in herself, to notice the beauty in in the everyday, and to love with a deep, wide and open heart, I have done my job and done it well. The only way I can teach her these things is to lead by example. I guess I have my work cut out for me.

3. It's ok to question. It's ok to wonder. It's ok to think deeply about things instead of blindly following the status quo. It's ok to speak out and speak up and keep asking questions until the questions are answered and the understanding begins to flow. This is how progress occurs and how changes are made. To do all of these things is part of who I am. I like who i am, and I like this about me. Those who don't can just take a flying leap, as far as I am concerned.

4. There is something powerful in being heard, in being seen, in being touched, in being understood. We all need this. Regardless of who we are, regardless of the path we are on, we all need this.

5. Most of us get through the day by trying to do the best we can with what we have. Life gets a whole lot easier when this truth replaces any judgment that was in the way.

October 12 of 12 (on the 13th)

This 12of12 is brought to you on the 13th, courtesy of dead camera batteries discovered on the morning of the 12th. Oh, well. Today (the 13th) was a fantastically fun day, so it was extra cool to document it.
(click to enlarge)
1. I'm doing 'The Artist's Way' with some friends. Here is a shot of the book and today's morning pages.
2. I can't explain why, but Riley slept in until 8:47 today. I had to wake her up to get her to preschool on time. I'm hoping for a repeat this weekend.
3. Riley and I are both obsessed with HoneyCrisp apples, like this one. They are HUGE, and we have to share one in order to finish.
4. One really fun part of the day was a bike ride up Emigration Canyon with some friends at lunch. This is a self portrait at the top. The fall colors were gorgeous and almost took my mind off my tired legs (...almost).
5. Candace, Brenna, Molly and Me = My girls (We were missing one - next time, Britt.)
6. Most days start off with a to-do list and a look over my day's schedule. Today was no exception.
7. Me and my friend James. I collect good people. They make me happy. You can tell by my face.
8. Riley's dress up outfit of the day. So much attitude in this little one. She calls these shoes her "sexy shoes." Oh, boy...I'm in for it.
9. I had a couple of my brothers and a couple of friends over for dinner tonight. Riley is madly in love with her Uncle Dan. And he played right along. Goofballs, both of them.
10. Lee brought amazing Mexican Chocolate Creme de Pots for dessert. Yummm-o!
11. A photo everyone complained about. I'm trying to figure out my new tripod.
12. I'm leaving some of the dishes for morning. It's all good.

It was a fun, busy, productive, fantastic day, filled with work, friends and family. Who cares if it's not the 12th?

Seeing myself in her

I hear it all the time...

"She looks just like you."

"Wow, you can definitely tell who her mother is."
"I've seen that face in someone else."
And every once in a while...

When I least expect it....
I see it too.


Tonight was one of those times.

Blissed Out (Gratitude Friday)

It's almost 2 am and I am coming off of several days of having a sick child, a messy house, and a very backlogged to-do list. I am tired, I haven't eaten well or worked out for several days and I'm still feeling some leftover emotion after having dealt with a few lingering personal issues over the past couple of days.

Seems like a recipe for a meltdown, no?

But you know what? That's not where I am tonight.

Tonight, I am completely blissed out.

Despite the sick kiddo.
Despite the messy house.
Despite the list of stuff I need to get done.
Despite putting to rest the remnants of a complicated relationship.

Instead, I'm thinking about my night full of friends and laughter, an impromptu brownie baking session (not my best ever, but we ate them anyway), some hair dyeing, random comments from G$, some closet organization courtesy of Jenica, a little bit of text flirting, and a whole lot of goodness. I'm blissed out, I tell you.

B*L*I*S*S*E*D O*U*T.

Lately I've been thinking (and talking) a lot about the concept that we are all responsible for our own happiness, and that when we choose to be happy and then consciously create our lives so that it rests upon a strong foundation of happiness, we are protected when the inevitably harder parts of life show up. If we work to make this foundation strong and to keep it whole, the things that might otherwise rock our worlds may still cause some waves, but they can't shake our foundation of happiness. It's something I've tested out and know that it works well for me. I have spent a lot of time and energy building a life that I love, and when weeks like this one come, I'm reminded of how grateful I am for such a life, for this foundation.

This week has basically been a wash for me in the work department (having missed almost three days to care for Riley). I'm dreadfully behind and will likely be working all weekend to catch up. These types of weeks are inevitable. They happen, despite our careful planning and best efforts. Kids get sick. Life gets messy. Relationships end. Tragedies occur. It's part of life to have day, weeks, months, sometimes even years, where it seems like nothing is going right. And this is where that foundation becomes crucial, becomes critical.

Building this foundation is going to be a different process for everyone, because everyone's needs and desires are going to differ. My foundation starts with amazing friends and family who love and support me, and a wonderful daughter who is the greatest gift I've ever been given. Add to that a job that fulfills me, interests that keep me healthy and strong, faith in something bigger than myself, and a desire to learn and grow each and every day. Little by little, as I focus on these things, as I make them a priority, my foundation gets stronger and stronger and the hard times, well... they aren't so bad.

So today, as part of my continual practice of acknowledging and expressing gratitude for the good things in my life, I'm going to focus on those things that help me build my happiness foundation, that help me keep it strong, and that are instrumental in helping me create the life I love. Today, after a night of good times and laughter, I'm grateful for friends who clean my bathroom mirrors and fold my laundry while we talk and who not just listen but hear. They add so much to my foundation of happiness and the gift of their friendship has sustained me through a lot of hard times. And I'm not limiting this to those that were here in my home tonight, but to all of my wonderful friends who give me so much. Thank you, thank you. THANK YOU.

She's one in a million

cheese
Originally uploaded by amyanner

This girl...she just cracks me up.

On this monday evening

Tonight, I am...

*feeling very grateful and very protected and very pleased with how my life feels these days.
*reviewing my photos from a photo shoot with my brother's family. Want a little sneak peek?
(I shot this in manual - I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.)
*marinating in Liz Elayne's words; here. Powerful words, powerful emotion. I'm amazed and inspired by her bravery and grace.
*cleaning up after a weekend full of out of town fun and goodness. There is so much laundry - I swear it multiplies while I am at work.
*listening to some newly added music: Jack Johnson, Sara Barielles and a new to me but older Ray LaMontagne (my love affair with his voice continues....mmmmm....).
*deciding that having Riley skip her afternoon nap might be a good thing - she's out cold by 8:30, giving me some desperately needed "me time".
*treating myself to some new books from Amazon. It's been too long since I had a "to Amy, with Love from Amy" package arrive. (what are you reading these days?)
*missing my girlfriends and my sister. Some serious girl time is needed this week. All you local girlies take note-let's ride, let's run, let's eat, let's play, let's dance! Those of you who are far away - be warned...you're next!
*Enjoying the little things that brightened up my day - a text with a video of the twinners, a sweet, slightly goofy and fully adorable message from DMV, the dessert my neighbor just dropped by for me, a phone call from this woman.
*anticipating my phone date with my friend/therapist/life coach/personal psychic/all around wonderful friend, Stormy.
*Loving life. I gotta say, it's pretty great....pretty great, indeed.

Weekend at home

As I was driving back to Salt Lake City today after a relaxing weekend with family, I spent some time reflecting on why it is that I always feel incredibly centered and very peaceful after time in Idaho.

It might be the traffic we encounter: Or maybe the people we spend our time with:

Or the scenery we pass by, evidence of hard work and simple existence:
It could be the way I spent my Saturday morning:
Or the way we celebrated Saturday night:


Whatever it is, I've learned not to question it. When my whole heart and soul is longing for somewhere that is comfortable, that is easy, that is gentle and that is healing...this is where I go.

This is home.