What She Said

Her pink "buggie" hat she made herself.

Riley has been saying some very funny, very articulate things lately. She uses such big words for an almost three year old, and she uses them correctly. "Complicated", "dangerous" and "situation" are just a few that come to mind right off. I am trying to stay in the habit of writing the really fun ones down so they are remembered and shared. Just a few of them...

**We were in the grocery store and Riley rounded a corner, encountering a slippery floor. She went down, and the group of firemen who happened to be right there fussed over her, trying to help her up. She pushed them away, pulled herself up, brushed herself off, leveled them a lethal look, and said to these men "so not the drama" while flouncing off, determined to put this little embarrassment behind her. I could hear them laughing about it several aisles away.

**We were driving home a few evenings ago and I was giving her the standard "when we get home, I want you to brush your teeth and change into your PJ's" talk. She started arguing and I argued right back. Instead of crying or whining, she put her head in her hands dejectedly and said "I'm freaking out! I'm just FREAKING OUT!"

**I overheard her talking to "Lydia" (her imaginary friend) and apparently Lydia was not going along with Riley's plans. Riley told her, very succinctly, "my way or the highway, girlie". I guess Lydia fell in line after that. I didn't hear any more out of either of them.

**We left Baby Nuggets at Grandma Nita's, so Grandma had to mail her back. (Can't be without Baby Nuggets for too long, after all). When I told Riley that Grandma sent Baby Nuggets back, she was happy but was more concerned that Grandma didn't come with her. I told her Grandma had stuff to do at home. She replied, disgustedly, "I always knew my Grandma Nita was lazy." For the record, my Mom is anything but lazy, but now we call her Lazy Nita around here.

*She asked me where her Dad was, and I told her he was probably sleeping. She said "But it's wake-up time. He's not sleeping." I said that he worked all night so he was tired and she informed me that her Daddy was not tired, he was "a bundle of joy." Again, not sure where she came by this information, but I can attest that her Dad is NOT a bundle of joy when he's tired.

She's such a funny kid. I wish I could record everything that comes out of her mouth.

Home Sweet Home (an open letter to the Universe)

Dear Universe,

I'm sure by now you've seen the "for sale" sign out in front of my condo. You've probably gathered that it's time for me to move on, to find a new place to live after calling this place home for almost 9 years.

I have loved this home, loved it entirely. Within these walls, I've grown so firmly into myself. Here is where I held the idea of a "normal" home and family close, here is where that dream was shattered, and here is where a new dream, a better one, took roots and flourished. It's where I learned to forgive, to let go, and to move on. Here is where I became a mother, where I walked the halls with a screaming baby, sobbing because I didn't know what to do to make her stop and because I felt so helpless and alone. Here is where, only a few months later, I laughed and clapped as I watched her take her first steps down the same corridor. I've watched many sunrises out my bedroom window, some seen after getting up early to start another day and others viewed as I finally laid down to rest, tired from staying up all night reading, writing, soothing, talking, crying, laughing. This home has been a sanctuary, not just for me, but for others who have needed it's comfort and security and a refuge for friends to gather. Within these walls, I've been hurt, been built up, fallen out of love, fallen into it again, shaped my own future and began teaching my daughter how to shape hers. This is where my greatest fears were faced down, my bloodiest battles fought, and my sweetest victories realized. Yes, I have loved living here. And now it's time for someone new to occupy this little corner of the world.

It's time for me to move on, to a new space that will let me continue to stretch and grow, that will give Riley the space she needs to learn and grow. I'm busy looking, Universe, I'm doing the work, but I'd really appreciate your assistance in finding the right place. What I'm looking for is a safe, convenient location, preferably within Salt Lake City proper. I need at least 3 bedrooms, preferably 4, and at least 2 full bathrooms. I want plenty of living space and a decent sized kitchen. I'm leaning towards a townhouse with minimal maintenance, but I still need a small yard and patio area. I need a garage (it's Utah, after all) with room for my jeep and my bikes and my paddleboard (and room for the 'cross bike I'm going to buy this fall adn the kayak I need to get next spring). I'd really like plenty of light and big windows, and a view of the amazing mountains wouldn't hurt. Friendly neighborhoods with kids are a plus and a HOA with a swimming pool gets big points.

So what do you think, Universe? Can you help the right person find my condo and help me find the right home? I'm certain it's out there, and as noted above, I've been looking. Still, sooner is better than later and I'm ready and waiting (and pre-approved!) So let's get on the ball and find my new house. mmmmmkay?

As always, I'm so appreciative of the many good things you've steered my way. I know this is another one of them, so let's get a move on.

Sincerely yours,
Amy

I got nothing.

Really.

Nothing.

I keep trying to compose my jumble of thoughts and ideas into a post that adequately wraps up all that is going on in my head and my life and my heart right now, but...

I got nothing.

So how about you? What's making you happy today? What moment over the weekend was your favorite? Share with me, please.

**Edited to add: on re-reading this post, I realized it sounds a little bit whiny. It's not that things are bad or particularly difficult right now. Rather, there is so much going on in the business of living that I can't quite wrap my head around it, much less write about it in any consumable fashion.

Superhero

This exchange came out of nowhere this morning...

"Mama, you are STRONG!"

"It's because I exercise and eat food that's good for me."

"Mama, are you healthy?"

"Yes, Riley, I am healthy."

"Mama, you are so pretty!"

"Thanks, baby. I think you are so pretty!"

"Mama, do you love me sooo much?"

"Yes, Riley, I love you so so so soooooo much!"

"Mama, I know what you are!" *Excited clapping*

"Really? What am I?"

"You're a superhero! You're MY superhero!"

*tears and smiles all around*

**Randomness**

**While I do not love the normal holidays (I think New Years, Christmas, etc. are WAY overrated) I do love me a summer holiday weekend that involves no stress and an extra day off of work. This weekend is the long Pioneer Day Holiday here in Utah, and I am celebrating by doing a whole lot of nothing. Today, I slept in (for me), went for an awesome bike ride, took a nap, took a drive, read a book, and watched "Sleeping Beauty" and "Alice in Wonderland". Tomorrow is more of the same, although I promised the girl we'd make cupcakes. She's very into cupcakes these days, as you can see in the above photo.

**My condo is back on the market. I've spent a lot of time going through everything, getting rid of stuff I don't need or want and really paring down to what I need and love. Consequently, it's much easier to keep in "ready to show" shape. I've been wanting to move for a while now, I'm still feeling like it's time for new digs, and the housing market seems to agree with me. Everyone send me good house selling and buying energy - please and thank you. :)

**I have a whole bunch of fun stuff coming up in the next few weeks- a trip to Portland, a weekend in Bear Lake with old friends, tickets to the Lion King, a triathlon or two, and househunting (which I have always hated before but am having so much fun with now). It's also an intense couple of weeks, work-wise, which I actually enjoy. Life is moving at a fairly quick pace these days, and I'm content to twirl around in the chaos and enjoy myself madly.

**I know that money doesn't grow on trees, but apparently, in Riley's world, it grows in flowerpots. I noticed the other day that she planted nickels and dimes in all our little flower pots. I still haven't gotten rid of the coins because it makes me smile to see evidence of how her mind functions. Too bad her plan won't work.

**I'm trying to pare down bedtime from the two hour ordeal it is now. Any suggestions?

**My friend Jenica had the most awesome pair of jeans on last night, which has made me start jonesing for fall clothes and fall weather. I'm not a clotheshorse at all, not even a little bit, but man, I love jeans that fit perfectly and the weather that lets you wear them comfortably. Good stuff.

**I've been adding in some yoga to my workouts, and I am really noticing the benefits. I enjoy it much more when I practice in a studio rather than at home, and fitting their schedule into mine isn't always easy, but I am trying to make it a priority.

**Riley's favorite treat lately is corn-nuts. Yep, corn-nuts. Isn't that odd?

**I'm trying to find effective 'green' household cleaner recipes. If you know of any, will you please share?

Really good things

I've got some really good things going on around here. Thought I'd share....

**Another successful week in potty training. She's so proud of herself, and I'm so happy to see her reach this milestone. Life is one step simpler.

**A lunch date with a friend who just gets me. When I left, I felt lightened and heard and understood (and I think she felt the same). Thanks, afm.

**Managed to fit in a couple of runs, 2 swim workouts, a brick swim/bike workout, a couple of bike rides, and a little bit of yoga into a very full week. My training is feeling balanced again, and that feels really, really good.

**An opportunity to explore Portland came up, somewhat unexpectedly, and I jumped on it. I'm excited to satisfy a little bit of personal and professional curiosity and check out a city I don't know. And thanks to the generosity of a couple of great friends, I have a place to stay. Thanks, La Familia Staley. You guys rock - TO THE MAX!!

**A very late night/very early morning phone call from Eastern Europe that had me laughing, crying, and missing a good friend very much. Love you, NR. You better show up in Utah soon.

**My sister, who knows just what I need to hear, often before I know it, and who makes sure the right words are texted, said over the phone, or in my email inbox.

**Riley has been asking to go 'camping' and I was a bit hesitant to trek her out to the forest by myself, set up a tent, and indulge her. That just seemed like a recipe for disaster. Luckily, my Dad offered his camper, so this holiday weekend, we're 'roughing it' in his driveway. It will be so much fun for her and me!

**My friend's baby is home and doing well (she was born at 34 weeks and needed several days in the NICU), and my new niece is here and happy and healthy. I am so grateful for these new little ones in my life. Just thinking about them makes me smile.

There is so much to be happy about, so many things to be grateful for...Truly, I am b.l.e.s.s.e.d.

25 things I know as a parent

A few weeks ago - probably one of the last time she'll fall asleep in my arms. So glad my camera was close.

This post was inspired by Jen Lemen's post at PBS Supersisters. Although I consider being Riley's mom my most important job, it's also the one that I find to be the most difficult. It was really empowering to write down the things i have learned in (almost) three short years.

1. The laundry and the dishes and the vacuuming will still be there when I am done playing with my girl. I won't be her first choice of a playmate forever.
2. My number one job is to teach my daughter how to think for herself and how to be compassionate and tolerant. If I can send her into the world with these tools, I have done my job.
3. I can talk until my face turns blue, and she may not hear a word I said. But she will follow my example. I have born witness to this time and time again.
4. Being present with my child is the most important gift I can give her.
5. Magic Eraser sponges clean off almost everything. Baby wipes are a close second.
6. Lipstick and perfume are important parts of any day - even when there is nothing special happening.
7. Routine and schedules are very good for her, and very good for me.
8. Having said that, it's ok to let go every so often and play, play, play.
9. Teaching her to "get up, shake it off" when she falls sure makes life easier.
10. Kids will treat others the way they see their parent's treat others.
11. Children need a say in their lives - they need to be the boss of something, even if it's just what they eat for breakfast.
12. It's not selfish to take care of yourself - it's necessary.
13. If you slip up and say that "not so nice" word, it will be the first thing they repeat at church.
14. Experiences are more important than "stuff".
15. A good tickle-fest is a great stress reliever for both child and mama (Thanks for this one, Jenica.)
16. Even if the only thing your two year old will eat for months on end is chicken and potatoes, they will, in fact, turn out ok.
17. I do not have to apologize for being a 'working' mother (what a stupid phrase - every mother i know works her a$ off). We are both happier because I do.
18. Sometimes, she will need a parent, not a friend.
19. Sometimes, she will need a friend, not a parent.
20. No matter how much you hate and abhor bathroom humor, your almost-three-year-old will love and adore it, and indulge in it every chance she gets.
21. She will always get hungry after she is in bed. Always.
22. I don't care what the books say, bribery can be an effective method of behavior change.
23. Sometimes, "I love you, Baby" is all she needs to hear.
24. Sometimes, "I love you, Mama" is all I need to hear.
25. I can trust my judgment when it comes to knowing what is best for my child, even if that decision flies in the face of everyone else's opinions.